I beg u, 9ja girls and boys...HELP ME! i need some advices :((( (Page 4)

@Agabs, u ar at it again. great one

Posted: at 25-08-2010 12:37 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

good advise agabs I rate u ...........u need to write a book oh- I promise to buy it n not borrow or rent it

Posted: at 25-08-2010 12:42 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

wen a man n a woman marries, they have honey moon period...wen things start to go wrong in the future, they looked back at what they had n try to make it work in hope that they can recapture their honeymoon again...they av been married a month...ideally, she shud b happy n joyous...if this is the best part of what is to come then God help her...people with. this is the early age n foundation of the wedding...couples with stronger foundation struggle to make it work not to talk of shaky foundation

@poster- if u r religious, pls pray for God's guidiance

Posted: at 25-08-2010 12:58 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

The problem women in the western countries are having today in their marriage is mostly equality (being equal with the man of the house), however, in African settings, its different. Africans and the Arabic countries have low divorce rate among them, due to their religious and traditional values they share in common. There's a saying in Nigeria that "two captains can never be in the same boat," that means in other to have a successful marriage, bring down yourself little bit lower (I mean little bit lower) to your husband as the tradition permits, If only you truly love him, that is what you will do, and by doing that you are giving him the respect that he deserves, while in return you will receive yours. Let him know that you understand, he is the man of the house. I could remember vividly, when I was in primary school, my teacher always asked a simple question, "who is the head of the family" of which the answer is "man," so that is still the footstep we have presently. Don't hide your feelings, show it to him coupled with the respect he deserves then you will have his love and respect in return too. ENJOY UR HAPPY MARRIAGE.

Posted: at 25-08-2010 01:13 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

Am a Nigerian woman and i got married to a nijer guy,for every marriage to work especially with a nigerian man u need a lot of patience and after dat u need to be praying for him everytime,both of u are from different background and culture, u need to study urself very well and ur marriage is still new,u have to be patience,respectful and be submissive for ur marriage to work.forgive him of everything he might have done to you,one day he will come back to his senses and realize his mistakes.u must also ready to endure things,nigerian women do endure,even if husband beat them up in d room they will still come out and tell their friends dat my hunsband is d most perfect on earth, so my dear it is well with ur marriage.

Posted: at 25-08-2010 02:07 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

I'm gonna talk from my experience. But before I continue, I will like to recommend for you this books: 1)State of the Union 2) Relationships.all by Douglas Kennedy. It will give insight toward managing your relationship. However, I have tasted a relationship of your nature though I am not married yet, I love my girlfriend so much. She is a Canadian. I love her with the whole of my heart(I mean it when I say so). But there is this nagging feeling among men to try other girls. Be it white or blacks, Nigerians or whatever. I always cheat my girlfriend to a point that she caught me with my pants down. She couldn't believe it that I could do something like that, and I have been doing it for a long time with different girls. Of course, she was angry, in fact, depressed to a point of attempting suicide bcus she loves me too. I realize lately that I still love her. We compromised and made it up to our relationship. She came to believe that a woman has to have a big heart to really date and marry a man. especially the one you really love. Once in a while men stumble to temptation. The like of Tiger Woods, Clinton, Letterman, Harry, etc, are all examples of men that have fallen to the wimp of women out of their marriage. Although Tiger was officially divorced yesterday(24/08/2010), the others that I have mentioned still live with the wives. I, in the other hand still cheat my girlfriend discreetly. But the good thing is that, no matter what, she is the best woman I have never met, and we will be getting married soon as my marriage document arrive from Nigeria. You have to have an open mind to your husband to make your marriage work. Blindly believe whatever he tells you even though you its lies. Goodluck.

Posted: at 25-08-2010 03:08 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

Posted: at 25-08-2010 03:23 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

U do not need his attention. People who need the attention of others are most likely never going to be successful. It means they do not love themselves enough. Funny thing is, it is the selfish ones that have people running after them begging for love.

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE. LOVE YOUR HUSBAND AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE.

mayb it is just me sha....but I expect a man to meet me half-way. I guess we will have to agree to disagree on this one

Posted: at 25-08-2010 03:57 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming

senseless

no I meant Passing

Posted: at 25-08-2010 04:46 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

wow... u people really got me impressed.
i don`t know how much to thank u for takin your time help me.
your advices now give me a clue of what is happening!
and how to take things from now on...how to handle different situation...and most important... what expectations i should have from my man.
i guess i shouldn`t expect too much...but give everything i can! pretty hard...but not imposible!
me and my man..we talked, put things on table many times...but didn`t work. or it did...but not for long periods.
now i understand..it was me...wanting things to get better in that moment and see changes. i wasn`t patient at all.
i was creatin drama...naggin...cryin...stress him even though i noticed sometimes he felt like just...run away till i will calm down.

if he will cheat, it doesn`t mean he doesn`t respect me or love me. still painfull...but at least...i will know he is doin in (although i pray he wont) for fun...and it doesn`t mean anythin for him. i will pray God to give me strenght to endure.

Agabs...u left me speechless. Its so much wisedom in your words. and so much truth.
i will not wait for him to give me attention, i will give myself attention. this way...i won`t stress him and suffocate him. and i won`t feel bad and ignored.
the servent is stronger than the master...this is a good one. never thought like this before. so ... i should give him the impression that he is the boss...but knowin inside..that without me, he can`t manage. and me, the woman, am the base and pillar of my familly.

i thank u all from all my heart. i read and analysed every single word to wrote back to me.
My friends, u gave me some keys to unlock many doors. i wish u all knew how much it means to me and how usefull it is every single advice.

Let me tell u something...even if i felt like..ok..maybe i should do this and that...and never had the power and motivation to do it. was ending up doin in my own ways.
But now..u gave me that confidence and knowin the fact that aint smth wrong with my marriage..i will be able to relax a bit and not bein so stressed. that will help...coz calmness means a lot. i will give myself time to think on what to do...instead of thinkin what is wrong and be desperate.

I will pray more.and more and more. God won`t let us down!

I thank u all from the bottom of my heart. And there`s a big chance...one day i`ll just say loud... my naijapals helped me save my marriage!

though...whenever i feel i can collapse..i will come back to u and ask for help. I promisse i won`t write so much next time!!!!!

Posted: at 25-08-2010 04:57 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming