1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is
irrelevant,
> so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
>
> 3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of
clothes
> in the closet; you "just don't understand".
>
> 4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you
can
> hear them.
>
> 5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an
effort
> to trap you into feeling guilty.
>
> 6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to
> fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
>
> 7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
> That's
> why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
>
>
> 9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when
> there's a spider or a wasp involved.
>
> 10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And
> they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two
or
> three people.
>
> 11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a
chance
> to gossip.
>
> 12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's
> doing. It might be the lottery calling.
>
> 13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they
> wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.
>
> 14. Women think all beer is the same.
>
> 15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in
> the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a
> tropical
> rain forest.
>
> 16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment
> that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that
reminds
> them of how horrible things could be.
>
> 17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of
> clothes
> and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip
> she'll
> pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what
> she'll feel like wearing each day.
>
> 18. Women brush their hair before bed.
>
>
> 20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modelling.
>
> 21. Women are never wrong. Apologising is the man's responsibility, "It's
> there in the Bible". Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
>
> 22. Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil- stick, oil doesn't
> stick?"
>
> 23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red
carpet.
> Men just get a large bowl to share.
>
> 24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A
> man
> would not be able to identify most of these items.
>
> 25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
> looking,
> men kick cats.
>
> 26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend
for
> two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and
they
> will talk for three hours.
>
> 27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
> garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
>
> 28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of
> getting lost using a shortcut.
>
> 30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
>
> 31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it
> means that). PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My
> Spouse.
>
>
> 33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and Bosom sizes.
>
> 34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand
> turn.
>
> 35. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language
> than
> it does in man- language.
>
> 36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.
>
> 37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the
> direction that they are heading.
>
> 38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about
> it.
> Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they
> really have 5 pounds to gain.
>
> 39. If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you
> can
> probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"
40. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good
china".
41. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamouring to be
let
into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights.
All
women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking
out the trash, and picking up the check.
42. Origin of the word "woman" is: woo-man.
43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy
toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid
to
stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in
more trouble)
44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer
taking
a
flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they
"left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it
themselves.
45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men
arrested.
46. Women don't really care about a sense of humour in a guy despite claims
to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You
don't see straight men dancing together.
49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out
and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women
checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other
women.
50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman
wearing
the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-GOD,
there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"
| Posted: at | |
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