Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce can feel intimidating. After ending a marriage, you may not feel your best emotionally or physically, which can hamper your self-esteem. If you want to attract men after a divorce, work through these feelings–and get out and make some connections with available men. It’s normal to feel apprehensive, but with time and a good support system, you’ll be back in the game in no time.
Step 1 Turn to friends and family for a support system. Go out on the town with your girlfriends, have weekly dinner meet-ups and call a trusted connection when you need to. “Facing things alone can take a toll on you,” says says clinical psychologist Michael S. Broder, author of “The Art of Living Single.” “Friends can help you see that dating doesn’t have to be so serious,” he says.
Step 2 Improve your physical appearance to feel more attractive. Have your hair done, or get a manicure or a facial. Splurge and buy a new dress. Exercise regularly, and eat right to look and feel your best.
Go out and meet people. Don’t hide in your house. Take a class, do volunteer work or join a book club. Ask your friends to set you up on a date, or sign up with an online dating website.
Step 4 Flirt with the men you meet. “Even if you think you’re not so hot or could stand to lose a few pounds, get out there on a blind date, wink at someone online or flirt at a party, and the compliments will come, boosting your confidence big-time,” says sex educator Sari Locker, author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex.”
Step 5 Prepare a list of all your positive qualities, and hang it in a place where you will see the list everyday, suggests Bruce Fisher, Robert Alberti, and Virginia M. Satir in “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends.” Read this list aloud to yourself daily. Share the list with friends and talk about your self-image, as well as the way your friends see you. Make a similar list of positive traits on which you’d like to work.
Step 6 Find time to enjoy all the things you couldn’t do while you were married. Take up a hobby you’ve always wanted. Enjoy life. “Be active; don’t feel like your whole life is on hold”, says psychologist Broder.
Tips and Warnings * Make a list detailing what kind of men you want to attract, suggests life coach Mike Angulo.
* Watch out for men looking to take advantage of your fragile state. “There are a whole lot of guys out there who think that because you’re lonely, you’ll be easy to hit on,” says Judith Wallerstein, author of “What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce.”
source:livestrong.com
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Posted: at 28-07-2011 06:16 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero