OIL CHANGING (MEN VS. WOMEN)

Date: 11-09-2011 8:34 pm (13 years ago) | Author: Emmanuel McCarthy
- at 11-09-2011 08:34 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
The Following are steps taken by both sexes in the process of changing the oil of a car.

WOMEN:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

MEN:

1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

29. Begin cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.

32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands.

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

40. Drive car

Posted: at 11-09-2011 08:34 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
- Emmagency9 at 11-09-2011 09:00 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Yhu don't mean it
Posted: at 11-09-2011 09:00 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- jeffrey4u at 11-09-2011 09:08 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
na joke???
Posted: at 11-09-2011 09:08 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- MegaOneplusone at 11-09-2011 09:11 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
before i read this, i think say na me stupid pas for here.....
Posted: at 11-09-2011 09:11 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- mixbrown at 11-09-2011 11:27 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
too long i beg Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Posted: at 11-09-2011 11:27 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Deffney at 12-09-2011 03:01 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
cheiii
Posted: at 12-09-2011 03:01 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- abubakarzain at 12-09-2011 09:13 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: mixbrown on 11-09-2011 11:27 PM
too long i beg Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
you beg for wetin?
Posted: at 12-09-2011 09:13 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- kingsleyd at 12-09-2011 03:13 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
brb
Posted: at 12-09-2011 03:13 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- jossy4reall at 12-09-2011 03:15 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
na waa ooo
Posted: at 12-09-2011 03:15 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- prof96 at 13-09-2011 02:10 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
dis one na joke abi na sarmon
Posted: at 13-09-2011 02:10 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- kingsleyd at 13-09-2011 03:46 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
ask emma
Posted: at 13-09-2011 03:46 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- add12 at 13-09-2011 05:16 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
Posted: at 13-09-2011 05:16 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- creativecosmos at 13-09-2011 05:23 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
old talk
Posted: at 13-09-2011 05:23 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- queenrukky at 13-09-2011 06:19 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
ok na
Posted: at 13-09-2011 06:19 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- abubakarzain at 13-09-2011 06:22 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
ok ya
Posted: at 13-09-2011 06:22 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- jeffrey4u at 13-09-2011 07:32 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
hmm
Posted: at 13-09-2011 07:32 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- bulletak47 at 14-09-2011 03:24 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
 >:(wt d f is dis
Posted: at 14-09-2011 03:24 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- abubakarzain at 14-09-2011 06:37 AM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: TFU83 on 14-09-2011 03:49 AM
Check out www.nigeria-magazine.com promoting the best of Afica's most populous nation to the world.
go advertise on tweeter and facebook
Posted: at 14-09-2011 06:37 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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