Deciding to start a family is not like it used to be.
Once upon a time it was marry young, immediately start family, wife stays home raising, baking, and cleaning while husband is working to feed the family, now things have changed. Times are much more complicated these days with both parents working and sharing household duties, most of us have established careers or are on a certain path and birth control is the norm (or must). Making that step from just the two of you to family is huge with important issues to discuss and agree upon before trying to make that leap.
Here are 7 issues to discuss with your partner before ditching the birth control:
1.) Difficulty Conceiving What if you and your partner are ready and wanting a baby, but you aren't able to get pregnant? The two of you need to figure out what steps you are each willing to take in order to become parents - fertility treatment, adoption, surrogacy - and agree on them.
2.) Birth Perhaps you are fantasizing about an all natural, in home birth that might completely freak your partner out or vice versa. Who do you want to be there when the baby is born? I'm a big believer in the person delivering the baby should decide how she wants to deliver and who she wants in the room, but it's only fair to discuss your wishes beforehand so you can be on the same page.
3.) How Many Kids Seems so simple, What if you always dreamed of having 3 kids and your partner never wants more than one? Not so simple anymore, so have this talk.
4.) Dividing Parental Duties This might seem like a no brainer, you are picturing your partner giving bottles and changing diapers. That picture is in your head, unless you discuss, as in say it out loud, your partner will never know. It's also not reasonable for one parent to do it all, even if the mom is off on maternity leave and exclusively Bosom feeding. There are still diapers to be changed, laundry to wash and baby to bath and all those other household responsibilities. Discussing who can do what, even making a chart will help with resentment later on (and there will be resentment if one person is doing nearly all the work!)
5) Gender Preference Are you willing to raise a girl if all you ever wanted was a boy? You don't really get to choose what sex your baby will be so make sure you and the partner will love and adore whatever the two of you create.
6.) Support System Who will be there to help after the baby is born? Do you have family living close or coming to visit? Do you both really want a house guest for the first month (or two, gasp!) of your new life as a family?
RELATIONSHIP & ROMANCE FORUM; MINISTER FOR WOMEN AFFAIRS WELCOMES YOU
Posted: at 8-11-2012 05:24 PM (12 years ago) | Addicted Hero
humm 50 all these u wrote are true but it dosen´t work 4 every couple especialy i africa,the uneducated,uninformed.1st a woman is looked upon to concive as the others expect in adoption is not a option in 9ja (2nd wife is) 2: in naija the woma enter the delivery room alone as the man is not allowed in. 3.the man has the altimmate say how many kids he wants. 4.ask a man in alaba to change his childs pampers n he will ask u what u are doing in his house.he tinks its 4 woman or mother in law 5.an avarage african man tinks the woman is responsible 4 the baby sex,except the educated ones some times complain when only girls are bein born 6.mother in law is always expected(OMUGWO)
Posted: at 8-11-2012 05:51 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Shydaimma at 9-11-2012 01:54 AM (12 years ago) (f)
Quote from: ela214 on 8-11-2012 05:51 PM
humm 50 all these u wrote are true but it dosen´t work 4 every couple especialy i africa,the uneducated,uninformed.1st a woman is looked upon to concive as the others expect in adoption is not a option in 9ja (2nd wife is) 2: in naija the woma enter the delivery room alone as the man is not allowed in. 3.the man has the altimmate say how many kids he wants. 4.ask a man in alaba to change his childs pampers n he will ask u what u are doing in his house.he tinks its 4 woman or mother in law 5.an avarage african man tinks the woman is responsible 4 the baby sex,except the educated ones some times complain when only girls are bein born 6.mother in law is always expected(OMUGWO)
okies na since you need my website here is it www.shydaimma.....Dat's oll wait!!!!!! dat's oll
Posted: at 9-11-2012 01:54 AM (12 years ago) | Hero
analyzation at 9-11-2012 04:55 AM (12 years ago) (m)
me and my partner are one. what is good for me will surely be good for her. y u ask? cos it must be tendered and discussed and a conclusion reached. that conclusion is what i meant by what is good for her will surely be good for me
Posted: at 9-11-2012 04:55 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Things have changed and i believe alot of men are playing their role.I disagree when people say the man is not allowed into the delivery room in 9ja cos it's not really true.It's not commonly practise but if u request,it is granted.Women don't really want that and most times the men can't handle it.Communication and more awareness about all the above mentioned issues is highly recommended for both parties.When you have babies,your whole life changes so be prepared.
Posted: at 9-11-2012 09:37 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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