First there is the "lion king," authoritarian husband/head. This is the husband who makes it known who is the boss. He sits, as all lions do, waiting to be served. When he roars, everyone must move. His children respect him as head, but they are really afraid of him. His wife nervously honors his wishes so as not to cause him to become angry. Other words that can aptly describe this type of head are "domineering" and "military commander" head.
Second, there is the "passive-aggressive" husband/head. This is the husband who insists he is the head, but is seldom seen or heard, and he is not visibly involved in the life of the family. Sometimes these husbands are alcoholics or religious addicts. They often use put-downs and manipulation to force their wives and children to accomplish tasks or fulfill their requests. When they become angry, everyone trembles.
Third, there is the "gentleman" husband/head. This is the husband who is respectful and does all in his power to enrich the marriage, although he will never change his views about it. He is usually willing to attend married couples’ club meetings and marriage seminars. He will never talk down to his wife. If he washes the dishes or helps with the laundry, he makes it clear that he is just helping his wife do some of her chores. Nevertheless, he insists that he is the head of his wife. He argues that the husband must have the last say in important decisions, although he tries not to disregard his wife’s opinion. Many Christian husbands fall into this category.
Fourth, there is the "ceremonial" husband/head. This is the husband who deep down inside really believes in equality, mutuality, and partnership in marriage; but he is afraid to let his friends see how often he washes the dishes, cooks the food, and takes care of the children. He avoids getting involved in the discussion about headship because his true feelings conflict with the traditional lifestyle of his friends and associates. Only when he is pressured, does he stand on the side of tradition and states shyly that he is the head of his home.
THE IDEAL HUSBAND
FIFTH: The ideal husband is not a head but a partner with his wife. He is the vitalized-harmonious husband. Theologians refer to him as the "Christ-centered" partner. Marriage is a trinity including God man and woman. God is at the head, and husband and wife are on the same level. It can be illustrated with a triangle. God is at the apex, and the husband and wife are at the base on each angle. In this kind of marriage, the husband and wife are servants.
The vitalized-harmonious husband believes in total equality and mutuality in the marriage relationship, and his wife is equal partner in home government. This husband views the difference between husband and wife as just that differences intended to blend together two persons in a unique partnership and companionship. His emphasis is: "We are equal partners." The wife is free to explore her chosen calling and career while still feeling feminine and motherly. The husband, on the other hand, is free to be compassionate and affectionate, but he is still masculine and fatherly.
What kind of Husband are you? Perhaps you are a combination of more than one of them.
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