A couple had two little boys ages 8and 10, who were EXTREMLY mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question."Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed. "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in big trouble this time! God is missing and they think we did it!".
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his water melon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away forsure. He made up a sign and posted it in thefield. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer'ssign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!!!".
Okay!! This is a joke I heard today! There were three guys in a forest. Then they were being attacked by cannibals. The cannibals said that they wouldn't eat them if they bring back 10 of the same fruit. So the three guys go into the forest to get the fruit. The first guy comes back with 10 apples. Then the cannibals say, "Now the second thingyou have to do is shove them up your a$$ without changing the expression on your face." So the guy shoves the first apple up his a$$ and then whinces. So the cannibals eat him. Then the second guy comes back with 10 berries. Then the cannibals say, "Now the second thingyou have to do is shove them up your a$$ without changing the expression on your face." So the guy shoves 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8... then starts to laugh. So the cannibals eat him. Then in heaven, the first guy says to the second guy, "Why did you laugh?! You almost had it!" Then the second guy says, "I saw the other guy coming with pineapples!"
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" she said. "I wouldn't know what to say," the girlreplied. "Just say what you hear mommy say,"the woman answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?".
Have a great tuesday.
It doesn't matter what u think, all i know is u can NEVER meet someone better than me. *winks*
Posted: at 22-01-2013 08:41 AM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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