I beg u, 9ja girls and boys...HELP ME! i need some advices :((( (Page 5)

I can`t help u u should know what is good for u and follow your mind...marrage is for better for worst.we just hear your own side of the story and cannot say anything until we get the other side of the story..............

Posted: at 25-08-2010 04:59 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

@Poster, get stephen covey's seven habits of highly effective people. It is very important. Buy it right now. Right now. Or get the audio book right now..... It is hard for a family that practices the wisdom in that book to get it wrong.

Posted: at 25-08-2010 05:11 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

Gentility is indeed the very best means of a survival...lol!

Hasta la vista, pals!!!

Posted: at 25-08-2010 06:04 PM (14 years ago) | Newbie

which kind of advice is dis ?

Posted: at 25-08-2010 08:04 PM (14 years ago) | Addicted Hero

commit him to God i know he must definetly change some day. change is the only constant thing in ones life

Posted: at 25-08-2010 09:15 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

I'm in an interracial relationship as you can see from my pictures. I love him with all of my heart and we plan on getting married soon. But I told him from the very beginning I would rather him end the relationshp than cheat on me. I also said if I found out he cheated on me I would probably end it, but I love him just like you love your husband I don't know if I would. There are no laid down rules as how you're supposed to treat a man. I'm sure that you do everything right. My ex boyfriend was also Nigerian and would also do some of the other things on the list and to this day, I don't know if he cheated on me or not. I never looked through my ex's phone or anything before, but one day I had a feeling that I should and I saw that he took a girls number down. When I confronted him, he told me she wouldn't leave him alone. But that wasn't why we ended it. Because of my bad relationship I had a lot of insecurities and would say things sometimes which my current fiance would not understand. He made me see that I had no need to. I don't go through his phone or e-mails because I trust him blind, just as you did. But I know his passwords and everything, because he wants me to feel that I can trust him. He also has mine because I would NEVER cheat on him. I'd rather end the relationship mutually, but I don't think that's ever going to happen. I'm not saying you should go through your husbands phone or facebook or whatever, but if you have had doubts for so long then you might need to. Thinking like a Nigerian woman has nothing to do with getting to know your husband. Also, don't chase him as much, when you get into bed and you want a cuddle or whatever, don't give him one. I know it's hard. But do it for a few nights he should come after you. Also when he does something to make you angry, you should tell him straight away in a calm manner, and not beat around the bush. If he starts shouting and doesn't apologise or at least acknowledge what he's done. Then walk away from the situation and go back to him after a while. Erm, I think that is all. I hope all this helps, anything else, just ask. Erm, I'm sorry for the very very long reply. Take care.

Posted: at 26-08-2010 12:34 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie

i vehemently disagree with u over the underlined comment... cos i hate it when people try to generalize all because u want someone to appreciate ur own point of view.  yes there are some men like that but if u take time and check carefully u will find that most men these days would not want polygamy for anything...... And well yes, there will always be those who would  want to play around (which cuts across all races and in no way peculiar to only African men) but the fact still remains that none educated African guy in this 21st century would want to marry more than one woman.   so pls don't sell us short.

Posted: at 26-08-2010 01:40 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

think u brother help me talk sense into her.look at what her fellow women is telling her.when u girl's know that you can never  take that cheat from any man.rubbish

Posted: at 26-08-2010 03:10 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

@flymamacita let's not pray that you are in this condition you we just send your black husband to his early grave.white people don't take rubbish from anybody when it's come to love.

Posted: at 26-08-2010 03:26 AM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

Don't live in a made believe world because it will keep you in depression. He has cheated on you before and maybe he is still doing so. What I will encourage you to do is pray and ask God what do HE want you to do where this marriage is concern. I blamed you that even though he show his true self to you, you went and married to him. It is not about RACIAL relationship because a lot of them work. It is about the individuals inside the marriages and what they want from it. My questions to you are:

1. Do you know the type of work he does?
2. Do you ever go to the club with him?
3. Was 10 months sufficient for you to marry him?
4. Is he a citizen in the country?

No one can handle another person my dear, so please take that from your mind. If you truly love him then learn about him and pray that God will give him a change of heart to see you has a wife. Don't go thinking that children will make a difference either because it will not. Make sure you are protecting yourself from pregnancy until this confusion is straighten out. Am not a 9ja girl but you need advice and so I give it to you. Hugs and blessings

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Posted: at 26-08-2010 03:39 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac