Once you have experienced one celebrity breakup in Nigeria, you have experienced them all.
Sometimes, you don’t even know about the couple experiencing the breakup until they decide to air every part of their relationship online.
A typical example is the singer Korra Obidi and her husband who I didn’t know about until her marriage crashed, other times, it is a popular couple and the news of their split is shocking. I knew Nkechi Blessing Sunday was constantly flaunting her London boyfriend or husband, we are not sure anymore, I never knew they had issues.
No matter the notoriety of the couple, here is how celebrity breakups go;
1. Rumours on Gistlovers
Out of the blue, you hear from ‘trusted’ sources or should I say ‘sauces’ that a couple is not together anymore. You hold off a little until the most hated gossip blog, Gistlover updates everyone that they've split up.
Then monitoring spirits will reveal that they have unfollowed each other on Instagram.
2. Allegations of cheating
Nigerian couples do not break up for any other reason. If it is a woman who is at fault, she is sleeping with men to get ahead and if it is the man, he philanders with young women (and sometimes men) and even buys them houses, cars and sponsors many private jet trips. Many popular actresses and influencers will be implicated.
Nengi Hampson and Nuella Njibigbo were implicated in breaking up Michael Diongoli’s marriage. In most cases, these are mere gossip without any facts to substantiate them but sometimes they are factual.
3. Online rant
If celebrities ignore these comments, the matter will die a natural death but perhaps they see it as a chance to get revenge on their former partners or as much needed clout to increase their popularity or maybe they want to clear their name.
They do not ignore these comments but go on their Instagram stories to write long epistles and shade their exes.
These epistles will be deleted after a little while but it doesn't matter if the post lasted for just one second, angry bloggers would have taken screenshots. Some celebrities will even go live on Instagram to talk about their failed relationship, just like Nkechi who recently showed us sex toys as proof that her ex was not ‘performing’ in bed.
4. More rants and unprovoked insults
There is a format every time a celebrity couple breaks up, women will always accuse their men or ex-husbands of not being able to satisfy them in bed or that she is the one funding his lifestyle because he is a broke man. We cannot forget how Tonto Dikeh told everyone that her former husband, Olakunle Churchill couldn’t last four minutes in bed and her more recent ex-boyfriend, Kpokpogiri does not have any money.
The man will accuse his ex of not being a good wife or woman, infidelity or woman and the dreaded paternity fraud.
Some are facts, others are fiction and we are left to wonder how any of it is our business.
5. Endless think pieces online
The next thing after we have been forced to know about their lives is that they start to trend online for a few days.
Everyone either expresses shock because they thought they were a perfect online couple or become relationship experts and start talking about what they should or shouldn’t have done.
After about two days, everyone moves on with their lives.
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