6 rules for being friends with your ex.

1. Mourning period: Give each other time to mourn the death of the relationship. The longer you two were together, the longer it will probably take before you are ready for friendship. It could be two months or two years—feel it out. You’ll know when the time is right because both of you will feel ready for it. Let hearts heal and flames fizzle out before hopping on the friendship train.

2. Keep it platonic: No sex, no kissing, no hand-holding, no flirting, no monkey business. At any time. Ever. Even after nights of heavy drinking.

3. Set clear emotional boundaries: Feeling down, having issues, looking to get your emotional needs fulfilled? Don’t go to him. Keep the friendship simple and without too much emotional entanglement. Talk about the things you have in common, shared interests, the things that made you friends during your relationship.

4. Seek out a love life: Meet other dudes. Date other dudes. If you’re pretending to be friends with him as you wait for him to fall in love with you again, then it’s not truly a friendship. Sorry to break it to you. On that note, no need to discuss your burgeoning love life with your ex. Not because you’re trying to spare any feelings, but rather out of respect and decorum. Call me old-fashioned. There may come a point when it’s cool for the two of you to discuss it. If it works for you and there’s no jealousy on either end ... be my guest!

5. No relationship analysis: If possible, avoid analyzing your relationship. Do that with your other friends, your therapist, or your journal. Keep the focus on your friendship instead. If there is some closure you still need and you want to discuss it, wait until you have some distance and perspective and can talk about it without getting too emotional.

6. More than friendly feelings: If you or your ex starts to have more than friendly feelings toward the other, back off and evaluate. Some people do get back together, but you should be very mindful about opening that door again unless you are sure. Also, unrequited love makes for a very bad “friendship.” Duh.