"If Rafa said he wanted to buy 'Snoogy Doogy', we would back him."
Liverpool owner George Gillett tries to get down with the kids by name-checking a rap star. Oops.
"It is very easy to say it is not a suitable stadium, coming from the man that invented the poll tax."
Uefa communications director William Gaillard gives the perfect put-down to former Tory leader and Liverpool fan Michael Howard, following his criticism of Athens' Olympic stadium.
"As long as I'm not taking a penalty we will be OK. But if it's like two years ago I will need a doctor."
Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez ahead of the Champions League final - where Pippo Inzaghi's double ensured the medics were not required.
"The Premiership is going to be tougher than ever next season and if you stand still you end up going backwards.''
Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp not quite grasping the laws of physics.
"I know he's talking about a probable move to Liverpool. He would be a barbarian!"
Liverpool midfielder Javier Mascherano on the prospect of being reunited with fellow-Argentine Carlos Tevez.
"Are you going to start calling me Jose? Excellent."
England captain Michael Vaughan responds to critics who dubbed him 'The Special One' after what they perceived as preferential treatment to rush him back from injury for the second Test. He quickly shut them up with a century.
"Managing a football club is like gardening. At Brentford I took a chainsaw to it. I don't know what I will be doing at Leicester yet."
New Foxes boss Martin 'Mad Dog' Allen gets ready to do some spadework at the Walker's Stadium.
"I'm blinged out. I got bling on my helmet, how cool is that?"
Formula 1 ace Lewis Hamilton on the diamond-studded helmet he wore for the Monaco Grand Prix.
"Imagine being in a car that is spinning for 45 minutes. Or imagine a hamster spinning on its wheel. Except I'm not the hamster, I'm the wheel.''
French golfer Thomas Levet describes the crippling effects of severe vertigo, which almost forced him out of the game.
"Every team we come up against now will be armed with baseball bats to try and stop him."
Wigan assistant coach assistant Phil Veivers on how the opposition might stop big Kiwi prop forward Iafeta Paleaaesina.
"We live in an era where everyone has a mobile and you have to understand that. If you're having a s*** these days, you have to take your mobile with you. If you hear a text message arriving every time you're paying a shot, though, you kind of think it might be one of your opponent's pals in the crowd!"
Snooker star Ronnie O'Sullivan on the curse of the mobile phone, in an excerpt from an interview in this week's Nuts magazine.
"I've got stats coming from everywhere, like this was the coldest day for cricket ever. Next it will be about whether Ryan Sidebottom's hair was the longest of any Test cricketer!"
England captain Michael Vaughan after the crushing defeat of the West Indies.
"My dad used to be a good golfer."
What Paul Broadhurst's son said to a shopper in a supermarket, inspiring his dad's return to form.
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