Argument
(ar*gyou*ment):n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead
(er*head): n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a Police Officer.
Bar-be-que
(bar*bi*q): n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up - but he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes
(blond joks):n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe
(kant*e*lope):n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer
(kloze dri*yer):n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda
(dy*it so*da):n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity
(e*ter*ni*tee):n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise
(ex*er*siz): v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery list
(grow*ser*ee list): n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair dresser
(hare dres*er): n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware store
(hard*war stor): n. Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth
(child*brth): n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "focus....breathe...push..."
Lipstick
(lip*stik): n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park
(park): v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience
(pa*shens): n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof mascara
(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n. Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day
(val*en*tinez dae): n. A day when you have dreams of a candle light dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
| Posted: at | |
TRENDING GISTS 
Tension Rise Again In Plateau As Bandits Attack Market, Kidnap Five And Steal Goods
Portable Reveals He Made N70M in Three Days After Fight With Speed Darlington (Video)
VIDEO: Man Caught While Waiting For a Minor he Had Solicited S£x From Online
Rapper, Phyno Unveils His Daughter, Shares Adorable Video to Mark Her Second Birthday
Ex Madrid Player, Xabi Alonso Seals Managerial Move To Real Madrid As Ancelotti Bows Out
Retired Teacher, Mallam Kabiru Killed, Wife Abducted As Bandits Invade Zamfara School Quarters
Army Busts Gunrunning Syndicate in Plateau, Two Arrested With AK-47 (Photos)
Ringside Rumble? Fans Hype Possible Boxing Showdown Between Small Doctor And Portable