1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. it all goes to the same place anyway.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Even George Washington did this! Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Posted: at 15-09-2010 01:54 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
"Those who will say nothing in the face of tyranny must endure the rule of idiots . All that you need for evil to triumph is for the good people to keep quiet and do nothing".
Posted: at 25-09-2010 02:27 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
TRENDING GISTS 
Lady Calls Out JAMB After Mysterious Overnight Change in Brother’s UTME Result
Ex-AUN Provost, Professor Yusuf Attahir Baba Loses Three Children in Devastating Car Crash
Football Star, Lionel Messi-Marriage Rumours Stir Online Frenzy As Divorce Speculations Grow
El-Rufai & Peter Obi Meet at Cambridge Conference, Sparking Political Speculation Ahead Of 2027 Elections
"How My Mother’s Lover Rap3d Me" — 12 Year Old Victim Narrates Ordeal