belovethsoul at 25-09-2010 01:18 AM (14 years ago)
(m)
Please my brothers and sisters, i need your divine advise, guidiance, and honest opinion on this subject. I would like to thank you all in advance for the time taken to read, and your positive contribution to my present issue of life.
I married this lady; and after few months of our marriage, I found out the whole truth about what she had done, before we got married. During our courtship, i found out she was hanging out with one of her co-worker, and I told her that, i'm not interested in our relationship any more, she apologised, but i insistited and said NO. She continued to called me, and ask me to give her a second chance, and that I should pray first, and not go with my feelings. I agreed to pray, and we continue to the relationship. Few weeks later, I found out through God's revelation that, she had been scretive about things with me. I asked her tell me the truth about the revelation revealed unto me, she confessed that, she continued to hang out with her co-worker, that she asked her friends and mum, and their responses was that, it's ok to hang out with other guy.
To cut the story short, I dont know how i married her, of which i told her, but i took responsibilty for my actions. However, I continued to get revelation about her deceitefulness, that there is more to it, and theat was when she told me the whole truth. she said, she had sleep over the night many times at the guy house, and she can not count the number of times. I think I got married under false pretense, and now I am scared of her, because i dont trust har any more, adn i dont think i want to have a future with her. I want to devorce her under false pretenses, please advise me? :'( :'( :'(
Posted: at 25-09-2010 01:18 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
preciouslyme at 25-09-2010 02:46 AM (14 years ago) (f)
marriage is work not just a game if she is just a friend with this guy i dont see the big deal, but you can try talking to her in a way that shows your concerns instead of it sounding like you are just ordering her around.
Posted: at 25-09-2010 02:46 AM (14 years ago) | Hero
u said u dnt know how u married her after everything dat was revealed to u.........i think u love her or do u think she is holding u with some ''voodoo''? talk to her afterall u r d man. u know wat u want..........make it happen. either thru prayer or choose. sorry u feel bad but d mistake has already been made. correct it by by letting her know wat u want
Posted: at 25-09-2010 02:54 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Librabilex at 25-09-2010 04:52 PM (14 years ago) (m)
they say love is a thing of d heart and i think u truely love her,if that the case first called her to other and observe if ther are changes,,,just know dirvorcing her is not the last resolt cos u taken that oath.sit her down and talk to her,never use her past to judge her at present and always try to remove ur heart from her mistake...if by doing all this u r not still convince..then take the possible last resort.may God guide you.
Posted: at 25-09-2010 04:52 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
divineproject at 25-09-2010 05:02 PM (14 years ago) (f)
Alright, she has confessed..........it is left to you to forgive her..........we all have our secrets you know.........it is good for couples to be open to each other......I really dont like to advise divorce in any case..........Now do you think you can get a better bargain out there?.........Talk things over with her and consider this one of the thorns in marriage............from what you said, it seems she was misled by her mother and friends...........
A LITTLE HELP HERE; A LITTLE HELP THERE, MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!
Posted: at 25-09-2010 05:02 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
I think that was things she did in the past .................. mind you that we all have our pasts and if trully she is sorry for her actions and has asked for forgiveness . It is only right that you forgive her after all she is your wife . Unless she is still seeing the other man now that the two of you are married ............... and if that is the case , then find out from her what she really gets from the other man that you can not give her
"Those who will say nothing in the face of tyranny must endure the rule of idiots . All that you need for evil to triumph is for the good people to keep quiet and do nothing".
Posted: at 25-09-2010 05:09 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
Put yourself together and act like the man of the house.Sit her down and have a good talk wit her.You have to make the rules,forget divorce.As a good wife,trust be she will obey those rules.And you need to forgive and forget.
Posted: at 25-09-2010 05:13 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
belovethsoul at 26-09-2010 07:15 AM (14 years ago) (m)
Thanks to members that have offered me advises so far, however more advises are still welcome. @fjoeaug I actually had a feeling and suspected voodoo in this situation. It's like a spell was casted on me, after every thing had been done, i asked myself; did i do this? it's like my eyes was opened, and I'm scared of loosing myself, my future, and living unhappyly for marrying a wrong one. I actually prayed about this lady before, when we started dating....and the response from my pastor was that "NO". I further pray and fasted myself.....but never receive an answer, i futher continue to pray and fast, and decided to cast a lot, please read: Acts 1: 24-26 "And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all [men], shew whether of these two thou hast chosen, That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place. And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles", but the answer and out come was "NO". However I told har to pray as well, and she told me that God had already revealed to her i am her husband, but i told her that, am yet to receive anything from God at that time. Although i had asked her if she can marry me more than once, but she said "NO"....she said i had no secure job, and that, i'm having difficulty paying my bills at that time, of which i got laid off, and i was living through God's grace. A new year came, and a secure job opportunity was opened unto me, I embark on this new career given unto by God, and i went on a 9 weeks trainig. The training was intense and isolating, but God see me through. During the time i was in training; we were communicating through letters and few phone calls only. After i completed my training; she told me that, "YES"....that she is ready to marry me now. I did not question why, but just said if that's what she wants.
but to cut it short, I fell in love with her first, and i was my being in love blinded to where i am now, however i'm able to see a lots of RED FLAGS about her. I have people to pray about her, and what i received was that, "NO".... and that, if i love myself i should be very very careful with her, because she is just not ordinary person. WHAT DO I DO FROM HERE??
Posted: at 26-09-2010 07:15 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
marriage is work not just a game if she is just a friend with this guy i dont see the big deal, but you can try talking to her in a way that shows your concerns instead of it sounding like you are just ordering her around.
didn't u hear him say she sleeps ova @ his place ?? wot sort of frend is dat ??
Posted: at 26-09-2010 08:07 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Guy! leave the bitch! (sori to call ur wife that). If you think she'll stop cheating on you because you are married, then you must be a dreamer. So decision are difficult to take, but you won't regret taking this. If you continue in this marriage, then you'll have yourself to blame. A leopard can never change its spots.
Posted: at 27-09-2010 11:25 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie
Though I hate to hear a one sided story & hate interfering in married couples affairs, but I pitied ur condition.
She 1st said 'No' when u had no job. Checked!
She later said 'Yes' after u got one. Checked!
She cheated. Checked!
She lied. Checked!
She charmed u with voodoo. Checked!
She confessed. Checked!
Your spiritual leader advised u not to marry her b4. Checked!
Brother, God is not a confuse father & he will never give u a Jezebel as a wife. if all u just told us are true, then its time to leave. this marriage should not have happened in the 1st place. do so now & free yourself frm any future bondage.
Posted: at 27-09-2010 12:07 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming
divineproject at 27-09-2010 12:19 PM (14 years ago) (f)
From the 2nd narrative here, you got NO answer from all round........but you went ahead to marry her...........some churches do nullify marriages that have been contracted under false pretenses.............So maybe you have to prove to the church you belong to that you were deceived...and that would have to depend on the rules and regulations guiding your church about divorce..........good luck
A LITTLE HELP HERE; A LITTLE HELP THERE, MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!
Posted: at 27-09-2010 12:19 PM (14 years ago) | Hero
wandepope at 25-02-2012 12:35 AM (13 years ago) (m)
Quote from: Thomax on 27-09-2010 12:07 PM
Though I hate to hear a one sided story & hate interfering in married couples affairs, but I pitied ur condition.
She 1st said 'No' when u had no job. Checked!
She later said 'Yes' after u got one. Checked!
She cheated. Checked!
She lied. Checked!
She charmed u with voodoo. Checked!
She confessed. Checked!
Your spiritual leader advised u not to marry her b4. Checked!
Brother, God is not a confuse father & he will never give u a Jezebel as a wife. if all u just told us are true, then its time to leave. this marriage should not have happened in the 1st place. do so now & free yourself frm any future bondage.
YOu remind me of submarine captains with your CHECKED! Poster listen to him he is right.
Posted: at 25-02-2012 12:35 AM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
bros you saw all the sign and still went ahead. there is no voodoo about your marriage. you loved her and believed her when she said sorry. now you have regrets. you said you prayed and God showed you, yet you defied God and went on. now you want out. marriage is for better for worst. what advice do you want from us? to divorce her? to go on with the marriage? to talk to your wife, beat her and warn her never to mess up with you again? abi to go and beat the shit out of the son of a bi**h who will not leave your wife for you? people can give you many advices but the choice is yours.
Posted: at 18-06-2012 03:26 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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