Past as the driver for the future (Page 2)

As the saying goes that problem shared is problem solved.
when your upbringing is rough and your father was a terror in the house, you do not enjoy the major part of you growing up, now you are somehow grown but now you realise that your upbringing is affecting your relationships, You have grown to be so agressive that you can hardly stay with anyone for two days in a realtionship without the person telling you that you are too agressive and people that are far away from you does not know you as an agressive person.This is Nigeria where some services like psycologists are not common, I need advice from Pals. Please reasonable advice only. Only mature minds are expected to say something here, do not bother if you do not have something meaningful to say.

The universal law is so impartial,for it will throw your garbage depending on the forces you drive to it.
A realization that you are in control of your actions is a safer way to deal with your relationship with people.
Your story reveals that your are behaviouristic-A mindset ,that allows your environment to control you.On the long run,such lifestyle makes one reactive to events,especially on surprise issues.
However,look inwards,let your strengths control your gratifications,and you 'll be better off handling your affairs.

To avoid being aggressive with others or in a relationship, u can try to be assertive, open and honest with your negative feelings or anger. warn people to "read'' your behavior rather than your words if they want to know your feelings. confront yourself with your inconsistent behavior and challenge yourself to explain it. take the risk to confront your anger assertively and "on the spot'' so that you can bring your behavior in line with your feelings. work at making your behavior consistent with your feelings. change the way you interact with people and make your relationships more honest. admit that you have been wrong in your words and modules of operandy. work at being more honest with people even if it results in a conflict. identify the irrational thinking that prevents you from confronting people when you are angry. learn how to become assertive with your negative feelings. accept that it is OK to have conflict and disagreement.
learn to compromise and come to a "win-win'' solution. Above all, your manners of aproach to people matters alot. learn how to be polite now and always.