Ibusmoney says:-
Getting married is very much
like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what
you want, then when you
see what the other person
has, you wish you had
ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one
woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" The other replied,
"Yes, I am, I married the
wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband
said to his wife, "You know, I
was a fool when I married
you." She replied, "Yes, dear,
but I was in love and didn't
notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the
classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a
hundred letters. They all said
the same thing: "You can
have mine."
The bride, upon her
engagement, went to her
mother and said, "I've found
a man just like father!" Her
mother replied, "So what do
you want from me,
sympathy?"
When a woman steals your
husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her
keep him.
Eighty percent of married
men cheat in America. The
rest cheat in Europe.
Man is incomplete until he is
married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it
cost to get married?" And
the father replied, "I don't
know son, I'm still paying."
Q: Is it all right to bring a
date to the wedding?
A: Not if you are the groom.
Q: What music is
recommended for the
wedding ceremony?
A: Anything except 'Tied to
the Whipping Post'.
Q: How can you tell the
married men at a wedding
reception?
A: They're the ones dancing
with everyone but their
wives.
Q: What is a wedding
tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love,
and then find out he has no
money.
Q: How do I make my wife
stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.
"My girlfriend told me I
should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends."
Q: How do most men define
marriage?
A: A very expensive way to
getting their laundry done
free.
Words to live by: Do not
argue with a spouse who is
packing your parachute.
First guy (proudly): "My
wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to
men until they can walk
down the street with a bald
head and a beer gut, and
still think they are beautiful.
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