Spiders Are too Scary - MY TRUE LIFE STORY

Date: 04-07-2012 12:50 pm (10 years ago) | Author: Fireboomdem1
- at 4-07-2012 12:50 PM (10 years ago)
I'm fighting a war.  A war against spiders.  Every night before bed, I check my sheets for them, shoe in hand, ready to brutally end their lives with way more force than necessary.  Sometimes I find one and even if I kill it, I still can't go to sleep because it confirmed my fear that sometimes there are spiders waiting in my bed for me.

I used to pretend that I wasn't afraid of spiders.  It made me feel cool - like I was braver than most people.  If someone called me on my bluff and asked me to dispose of a spider, I would put on my battle-face and do my best to get rid of it without letting the panic bubble to the surface. I dont pretend anymore

I HATE spiders.   Spiders are like little pieces of death wrapped in scary.  Even if a spider was like "LOVE ME". I'll be all "NO!"

Sometimes when I express the hatred and fear I feel when I think of spiders, someone will be like "But spiders have families too!!"  Like somehow that will make me become sympathetic and understanding toward spiders.  But that's exactly the point.  Spiders have families and their families are also spiders.  We should kill spiders because they have families. 

When I was younger, my mom would say "Sweetie, don't be afraid.  You are way bigger than a spider." Well guess what, mom?  I'm bigger than a grenade too.  Were you trying to raise me to be some sort of unconquerable war-machine that isn't even afraid of grenades?  If you were trying to do that, you failed.  I'm afraid of a lot of things that are smaller than me - like bees and wolverines and centipedes.  I'm even kind of afraid of ants a little bit.

Spiders are phyuking scary.  That is a universal truth.  I don't know why.  I don't need to know why.  All I know is that when this: when a spider comes crawling across the wall at me, my brain interprets it like this: "AAAAHH IT WANTS TO KILL ME"

That is a spider with a swastika and the words "I KILL YOU" carved into its flesh and it has knives and guns strapped to its legs.  That's how scary spiders are. 

P.S.  I just saw a spider on my stairs and I tried to squish it but I missed and now I can't find it. LOL

Posted: at 4-07-2012 12:50 PM (10 years ago) | Upcoming
- franel at 4-07-2012 02:49 PM (10 years ago)
what a story! Dont tell me you eat chicken or turkey Grin

Posted: at 4-07-2012 02:49 PM (10 years ago) | Hero
- terryworld at 5-07-2012 06:09 PM (10 years ago)
e be like say u wan write pass chinua achebe?

Posted: at 5-07-2012 06:09 PM (10 years ago) | Hero
- ExpertTbright at 6-07-2012 10:27 PM (10 years ago)
HELP me ask RAM

Posted: at 6-07-2012 10:27 PM (10 years ago) | Hero
- zeigbo at 7-07-2012 09:55 PM (10 years ago)
Abeg shey Na song be dis Huh?

Posted: at 7-07-2012 09:55 PM (10 years ago) | Addicted Hero
- BournIdentity at 9-07-2012 08:39 PM (10 years ago)
abi. dis poster self na once in a year wey i dey c am
Posted: at 9-07-2012 08:39 PM (10 years ago) | Addicted Hero


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