My Fiance Wants His Son To Come Live With Us But I’m Not Ready For That

Published 6 years ago by: aadex kebella
[1] 2 3 4
at 12:37 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)

(23930 | Addicted Hero) (m)

Dear Gistmania Ambassadors,

I am writing to you for a relationship advice. I am in a happy place in my relationship with my soul mate. We have been dating for years and have been living together for four years. He is in the midst of building a fabulous home and totally has me in his future plans, and I love it all.

The only problem is that, recently he told me he will be having his teenage son come living with us full time. The boy has a number of issues that they fail to address, like obesity, constant bed-wetting, lack of manners and poor hygiene. How do I put my feelings of happiness on the back burner or try to work out the new living arrangement with a boy of new problem issue?

I am hoping you can provide me with some help on this one.


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chicco77 at 01:12 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(22129 | Addicted Hero) (f)

why wont u love his son if u truly love him Huh?
Reply
HOPEA23 at 01:21 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(22360 | Addicted Hero) (f)

Assuming he is your son.(biological son)... How would u have help solve your son problem? Or how would u have cope with him with all these issue u listed here? Plz my dear u are just making some excuses ... Just tell your Man U don't like his son and will not be happy to live on the same house with him.. .. This is what u called issues hisss very soon u will become a mother ... How about u use him to learn on how to deal with this kind of issues ? If u truly love your man you most also love his son your step son and assist your guy to solve this problem ...

Reply
Shegzan at 01:23 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(6772 | Gistmaniac) (m)

U can also bring ur daughter... Tit-4-tat!

Reply
paulohking at 01:25 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(12160 | Hero) (m)

Whatever
Reply
janebassey at 01:27 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(2 | Newbie) (f)

if u really love ur fiance, i believe u shud b able 2 accept everyting abt him including his son,don't b surprise this might strengthen ur relationship, all u need 2 do is change wat is nt right in d boy, see how u can help him adjust and also pray God 2 c u tru.
Reply
Jaylen at 01:29 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(991 | Upcoming) (m)

If u love him then love  his son take his son as your own shekina ..
Reply
cocoeni at 01:44 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(14199 | Hero) (f)

And so? don't be a greedy woman...if u want too make ur man happy
u have to take  and accept him like ur son, so their will be peace in the home.
Reply
Mobbysmartins at 01:44 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(1630 | Gistmaniac) (m)

You have already shown the type of woman you are.I wish your man realizes the kind of woman you are before it is too late for him.
Reply
micc at 01:45 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(9484 | Hero) (m)

Quote from: HOPEA23 on 01:21 PM, 13/05/2013
Assuming he is your son.(biological son)... How would u have help solve your son problem? Or how would u have cope with him with all these issue u listed here? Plz my dear u are just making some excuses ... Just tell your Man U don't like his son and will not be happy to live on the same house with him.. .. This is what u called issues hisss very soon u will become a mother ... How about u use him to learn on how to deal with this kind of issues ? If u truly love your man you most also love his son your step son and assist your guy to solve this problem ...
True talk my dear
Reply
Biafranwar at 01:47 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(2848 | Gistmaniac) (m)

U have to accept that or else u go and look for another maga
Reply
owoowo at 01:56 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(78 | Newbie) (m)

if u cant take care of his son, how r we sure u can also take care of ur man, there is something u r not telling us here';;;;;;;;;;;;
Reply
osarobo62 at 01:56 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(11725 | Hero) (m)

Quote from: HOPEA23 on 01:21 PM, 13/05/2013
Assuming he is your son.(biological son)... How would u have help solve your son problem? Or how would u have cope with him with all these issue u listed here? Plz my dear u are just making some excuses ... Just tell your Man U don't like his son and will not be happy to live on the same house with him.. .. This is what u called issues hisss very soon u will become a mother ... How about u use him to learn on how to deal with this kind of issues ? If u truly love your man you most also love his son your step son and assist your guy to solve this problem ...
Nice opinion. Also it shows that he is a good father.
Reply
Wysetots at 02:01 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(8130 | Hero) (m)

The Poster nowhere referred to herself as engaged to the man.
Possibly why she feels overwhelmed by the plan.

Hearing you exist in one future isn't enough. Women need a more concrete proof.
Of course she loves the man, and will transfer the love unto the son.

But proper training will be easily done when she becomes a "WIFE" not a woman cohabiting with a man.
If she becomes a wife, then she can discuss with the Man on ways to ensure the child gets proper training.

The child probably has bad manner due to the absence of a mother figure in his life.
Men tend to think providing toy, buckets of ice-cream and 5 meals in a day is enough.....but women know what their children need.

Until you become the "Wife", talk to your man, find out his reason for planning his son into the house.
Truth is.....till you become his Wife, the son has more importance in his life.......He's his blood....you're just dating.

I'd suggest you have a heart to heart talk with your man, mention the issues with the boy, suggest ways to help the boy, do not show you're scared of having the son around,
Avoid any form of confrontation, assure him you want the best for both of you.....and that includes making sure the son stays healthy now....grow with better manners.

Most importantly, Pray....God directs.
Reply
etibaba at 02:06 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(4056 | Gistmaniac) (m)

Park well.

Reply
Solidstonez at 02:14 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(37019 | Addicted Hero) (f)

You seeking for advice, keep asking

Reply
Solidstonez at 02:15 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(37019 | Addicted Hero) (f)

If you love him, then you have to love the whole package

Reply
morgrawl231 at 02:30 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(10406 | Hero) (m)

WHATEVER,,,,,,,,
Reply
jahy at 03:02 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(7 | Newbie) (f)

The man has seen the challenges with his son and he wants to bring him closer to him so as to groom him. What kind of a woman are you? The solution you are looking for, is to help in grooming the boy, to achieve the target result. You are just selfish and this could break your relationship with the man if not properly managed. Beside he is not married to you yet, which will make it easier to discharge you. Better be warned.
Reply
winace at 03:12 PM, 13/05/2013 (6 years ago)
(30153 | Addicted Hero) (f)

U can help d boy if u want if dats d only issue.those u mention are not a problem cus if u have a child like dat, wat will u do to help him.
Reply
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