How to Carry on a Romantic Conversation

You're sitting across a candlelit table from the girl/guy of your dreams, when suddenly you realize you've been staring into each other's eyes for ten minutes without saying a word. You want to spark a romantic conversation, but you're beginning to understand that whatever your conversation skills may be, romantic conversation will require a whole new level of finesse.

1.  Try generic opening lines. However silly it may sound, coming to the candlelit table with a few conversation starters on tap is never a bad idea. They may be cheesy, but if you're comfortable with your date, the cheesiness can be cute or even romantic. Here are a few all-purpose samples: (1). If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you attempt? (2). Where do you see yourself in five years? (3). What did you want to be when you were a kid?

2. Personalize your opener. Like a monogrammed bathrobe, your most romantic conversation starters will have your date's name written all over them. If you're into underwater basket weaving, and he's taking a class on submarine repair welding, casually ask what kind of wetsuit he prefers, or if he's ever had trouble with his oxygen tank. Think about the shared interests that attracted you to your date in the first place, then delve into them further.

3. Play conversational tennis. Now that you've got your date hooked with an opener, how do you keep him on the line? Holding a conversation can be compared to maintaining a good volley in a tennis match. Each player is responsible for hitting the ball back over the net when they receive it. If one player simply catches the ball and holds it, the volley (read: conversation) is over. In the same way, every time your date pauses, it's your job to give a reply that not only responds to what he's just said, but also allows him to reply in turn. When you give a response that makes it hard for him to reply in turn, you're catching the ball and holding it.

4. Don't give one-word responses. The word "okay" by itself, for instance, is the atomic bomb of conversation killers since it forces your date to come up with a new topic on the spot. In fact, pretty much any one-word response is tantamount to conversational suicide - the worst possible example of catching the ball and holding it. If you're in the habit of giving one-word responses, spend a few weeks ending everything you say with a question. Before you know it, people will start thinking of you as a conversationalist.

5. Make physical contact. Don't be afraid to hold his hand across the table, especially if he initiates the contact. If skin is touching skin, then no matter what you're talking about (even underwater basket weaving), it will be romantic.

6. Make eye contact. Don't stare, and unless you're on your anniversary date or you're planning to propose, don't gaze into each other's eyes. Whenever that happens, one or both partners are inevitably thinking, "Should I stare back? Can I blink? I have an itch, but should I scratch it? Do I say something, or just be silent? This is really awkward...."

7. Listen. There comes a time when flapping your lips only serves to create a gentle breeze, and that is the time when a conversation has ceased to be romantic and has instead become annoying to your date. If you end every response with a question mark, be sure to listen to your date's answers to those questions!


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Posted: at 9-05-2014 12:37 PM (11 years ago) | Newbie