i need help i am simply terrified

ok this is my story.
i came to US ever since i was 10 yrs old (am 21 Now) anyway i have this childhood friend whom am very close with. his father and my father were very close so i guess u can call u family friends. me and him talk almost everyday, he is very caring, sincere. he is everything i want in a man and i am inlove with him. Now this is the story i went to nigeria this summer of 09 and he asked me to be his girl friend and i agreed and i have just learned this same year that his grandmother was a very close friend of my grandfather and his grandmother was married by a women who couldnt have a baby so his grandmother begged my grandfather to help them out and she had three children by my grandfather as a favor and his father was ond of them. my parents neva told me this ( they passed away and that was the reason my fathers sister adopted me and i came to united states).

since i found this out, my life has not been the same. i dont no what to do but i do no that i want to spend the rest of my life with him (since am a citizen, i am currently working on his papers to come over). right now i am a junior in nursing school and will not be able to suppose him but he is expected to be here in a year by then i have my bachelor in nursing and be living on my own. so my their people what do u guys suggest i do. i reallly really love him and the same goes for him and i am stuck between listening to my family (we plan on getting married) or doing what will make me happy? any suggestions will really help thank you.

Posted: at 21-10-2009 03:23 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie

Wow..dis is a serious matter..meanwhile brb to get you well.

Posted: at 21-10-2009 03:36 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

it is a very big problem,this is not matter of love any more but tradition and culture has a role to play here,
what am try to say both of are related and infact brother,will called it distance brother,by the tradition of the place which you come from it will be taboo and abomination  for  you to marry him.i will advice to QUITE ,he is not meant for and you are not meant for her.....
......i understand what you are going through.....
hope u never do anything with him..u understand what i mean

Posted: at 21-10-2009 08:15 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

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Posted: at 21-10-2009 11:24 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

its a big palava o......but i will actual give a liitle advice.....does he really know abt this..if no, then sit him down and discuss this issue with him...let him also make an opinion....i wish u the best baby.....

Posted: at 21-10-2009 02:33 PM (14 years ago) | Upcoming

Sometimes its wise to jus'pass when u dont have anything positive/constructive to say in a forum...than call other people names or being judgemental whaen you have no cause to be......

That said......I would advise u sis to sit and discuss the issue with your hubby-to-be if he is not aware of the family history you have just detailed here...if he knows it and is com4table with it....then go ahead and follow what your own heart directs.

You will live with this person....if he makes you happy then go ahead and marry him...... we are all seeking for happiness...hard to find in relationships....dont let it slip by just to please other people/family when they wont give you that.

However, tell the family how you feel about the guy {no-one is an island...we need the security of family in life sometimes if not always.....despite the differences we may experience with them....they are still our family}....what it means to you being with him in your life....the loss of not being with him.....hopefully they will understand and stand by you...if not thay will get used to the idea with time.....by talkig to them you will have done all you can and a body can only do so much!!

Sometimes tradition does not avail over modernity....times have changed,values keep changing all the times too. If we were to trace our roots back in time we are all basically related.......we go back to a man and woman who started it all.....so if a bit of distance seperates you by generations.....you can still marry and live com4tably with each other!!!

My view.........the choice is still all your own!!Do what makes you happy.........involve those who care for u in your decisions....enlist their support if you can....but the final word is always yours sister!

Posted: at 22-10-2009 01:32 AM (14 years ago) | Newbie

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Posted: at 22-10-2009 01:42 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac

hhmmmm... to begin with poster 4 someone who has bn living in the states all her life, ur english sounds like that of my great great grand-mother who died in the early 40s.......

anywayz just like someone has already ask, is ur man aware about all these link btw the two of u?...
well if he is and still intend to continue with u, and of course if ur families re in agreement then "poursuivre".

but why dont u look 4 another guy that has no lineage from ur grand-fathers? that way u can avoid any future eventualities.   just my tot though.

Posted: at 22-10-2009 01:57 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

  but na true na....
abi how u see am ............ lol

Posted: at 22-10-2009 02:03 AM (14 years ago) | Hero

okz....   

Posted: at 22-10-2009 02:11 AM (14 years ago) | Hero