Talk To The Hands (The Silent Treatment)............ (Page 3)

Date: 25-03-2011 12:27 pm (13 years ago) | Author: Obiajunwa
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- sophiebaby at 25-03-2011 01:42 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 01:37 PM
Quote from: sophiebaby on 25-03-2011 01:33 PM
My Say To Dp's Question is this

The silent treatment is an extremely malignant pattern of behavior meant to convey anger, hurt, and rage. The recipients of this are often unclear about why they are being singled out for this. Often times, the reason are petty. This is malignant because it creates tension, guilt and even paranoia within the relationship.

Many times the person who uses stonewalling learned it during childhood. Its learned within a family system that did the same thing. Often, its a power play, designed to get others to "apologize" for the supposed offense. In the power play, there is a struggle within the mind of the individual using stonewalling, to see who can hold out the longest. This is ridiculous and damaging to relationships.

let them be. If you want, you can make one more attempt to communicate but, assuming the person still refuses, leave him/her to his/her own turmoil. Don't make this your problem.

Thank you Sophie..............but this means that each time this happens, a relationship is about to hit the rock..........so sad

Apparently yes

Posted: at 25-03-2011 01:42 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- bittersweet at 25-03-2011 01:47 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Silent treatments are destructive forces in abusive relationships.Silence is a silent form of anger that says u do not exist. Abusers use this as a form of punishment.
Victims of silence episodes feel that there r detrimental effects to physical health as well as d mental health.Those who have been ill-treated on a repeated basis report a sense of not belonging,loss of control,low self esteem and unworthiness.They also have increased stress levels,headaches and depression.
The person who is d abuser needs to think about how their actions r affecting their partner.An abuser is both a coward and a bully. All abusers have excuses that r not to be accepted.Bottom line, silent treatments are wrong ways to deal with problems and can seriously inflict harm.
The one on d receiving end of silent treatments should take responsibility.You have played a role in setting up the relationship so therefore u must take a role in changing it.Tell your partner that enough is enough.Change your routine or behavior to show u will no longer tolerate the abuse.

Don’t go along to get along!!!

Posted: at 25-03-2011 01:47 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- sophiebaby at 25-03-2011 01:51 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Its really painful when you are being given a silent treatment

Posted: at 25-03-2011 01:51 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- trolling at 25-03-2011 01:54 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 01:35 PM
Quote from: trolling on 25-03-2011 01:31 PM
How can u "women" be silent when you dont know when and how to open yr mouth

I guess that would make it more effective becos a lot of men think women cant do without talking........Trolling, talk to the hand jor.......... Tongue Tongue
when did you naija women start that nonsense of talking to the hand, no be those american movies teach una,
but let me just drop some hint on our men,if you dont talk to a woman or ignore her when she turns into a chatter box,then she wont have any fuel for the fire.it takes two to argue.
Posted: at 25-03-2011 01:54 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- divineproject at 25-03-2011 01:56 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: bittersweet on 25-03-2011 01:47 PM
Silent treatments are destructive forces in abusive relationships.Silence is a silent form of anger that says u do not exist. Abusers use this as a form of punishment.
Victims of silence episodes feel that there r detrimental effects to physical health as well as d mental health.Those who have been ill-treated on a repeated basis report a sense of not belonging,loss of control,low self esteem and unworthiness.They also have increased stress levels,headaches and depression.
The person who is d abuser needs to think about how their actions r affecting their partner.An abuser is both a coward and a bully. All abusers have excuses that r not to be accepted.Bottom line, silent treatments are wrong ways to deal with problems and can seriously inflict harm.
The one on d receiving end of silent treatments should take responsibility.You have played a role in setting up the relationship so therefore u must take a role in changing it.Tell your partner that enough is enough.Change your routine or behavior to show u will no longer tolerate the abuse.

Don’t go along to get along!!!


BS! BS!!, BS!!!...........I just dont know what to tell you......but I know that you have succeeded in talking to a lot of people on here.  At one time or the other or even in the near future, someone here had passed or will pass through this agonising situation and I think the person(s) can fall back on this timely input by the only BS of the NP forum....Thumbs up dearie

Posted: at 25-03-2011 01:56 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- bittersweet at 25-03-2011 01:59 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Thx,sweetie!

Posted: at 25-03-2011 01:59 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- divineproject at 25-03-2011 02:02 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: trolling on 25-03-2011 01:54 PM
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 01:35 PM
Quote from: trolling on 25-03-2011 01:31 PM
How can u "women" be silent when you dont know when and how to open yr mouth

I guess that would make it more effective becos a lot of men think women cant do without talking........Trolling, talk to the hand jor.......... Tongue Tongue
when did you naija women start that nonsense of talking to the hand, no be those american movies teach una,
but let me just drop some hint on our men,if you dont talk to a woman or ignore her when she turns into a chatter box,then she wont have any fuel for the fire.it takes two to argue.


Every time you go dey leave the elephant wey u carry for head, dey use leg dey try to kill grasshopper wey dey for ground......oya talk to the hands jor........hehe Grin

Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:02 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- sophiebaby at 25-03-2011 02:10 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
passe

Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:10 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- sobeit at 25-03-2011 02:16 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
silence is very deep,thick,dark,hurt and discussing.keeping silence can break someone heart into thousand piece.however!! sometime we maintain silence to protect a beautiful relationship but too much of it could create distance in every beautiful relationship..personally, it's better to table out issue(s) in other to be discussed and solve, cuz there is no sound in this world that can be louder than silence and if someone can't understand your silence he/she can never understand your words..so keep talking pals!!!
Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:16 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- sophiebaby at 25-03-2011 02:33 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: sobeit on 25-03-2011 02:16 PM
silence is very deep,thick,dark,hurt and discussing.keeping silence can break someone heart into thousand piece.however!! sometime we maintain silence to protect a beautiful relationship but too much of it could create distance in every beautiful relationship..personally, it's better to table out issue(s) in other to be discussed and solve, cuz there is no sound in this world that can be louder than silence and if someone can't understand your silence he/she can never understand your words..so keep talking pals!!!

gbam

Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:33 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- divineproject at 25-03-2011 02:40 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: sobeit on 25-03-2011 02:16 PM
silence is very deep,thick,dark,hurt and discussing.keeping silence can break someone heart into thousand piece.however!! sometime we maintain silence to protect a beautiful relationship but too much of it could create distance in every beautiful relationship..personally, it's better to table out issue(s) in other to be discussed and solve, cuz there is no sound in this world that can be louder than silence and if someone can't understand your silence he/she can never understand your words..so keep talking pals!!!

Thanks SBI........

Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:40 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- trolling at 25-03-2011 02:46 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 02:02 PM
Quote from: trolling on 25-03-2011 01:54 PM
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 01:35 PM
Quote from: trolling on 25-03-2011 01:31 PM
How can u "women" be silent when you dont know when and how to open yr mouth

I guess that would make it more effective becos a lot of men think women cant do without talking........Trolling, talk to the hand jor.......... Tongue Tongue
when did you naija women start that nonsense of talking to the hand, no be those american movies teach una,
but let me just drop some hint on our men,if you dont talk to a woman or ignore her when she turns into a chatter box,then she wont have any fuel for the fire.it takes two to argue.


Every time you go dey leave the elephant wey u carry for head, dey use leg dey try to kill grasshopper wey dey for ground......oya talk to the hands jor........hehe Grin
Hin go dey claim say hin be the Head hin go con dey tread on this women.Make u drop another parable joseph is here.
Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:46 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- sobeit at 25-03-2011 02:48 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 02:40 PM
Quote from: sobeit on 25-03-2011 02:16 PM
silence is very deep,thick,dark,hurt and discussing.keeping silence can break someone heart into thousand piece.however!! sometime we maintain silence to protect a beautiful relationship but too much of it could create distance in every beautiful relationship..personally, it's better to table out issue(s) in other to be discussed and solve, cuz there is no sound in this world that can be louder than silence and if someone can't understand your silence he/she can never understand your words..so keep talking pals!!!

Thanks SBI........
u welcome  Smiley
Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:48 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- blessedme at 25-03-2011 02:49 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: divineproject on 25-03-2011 01:26 PM
Quote from: blessedme on 25-03-2011 01:19 PM
DP...wat kinda silence are u talking about here
is it d malice kinda or when a little arguement transpire between them...one person suddenly becomes cold or wat?Huh?
cos from comments here i dont really know d one u are talking about

Ble, there may or may not be an argument before he/she stops communicating.  Take for instance, the other party is in another area and the only way to communicate is through phone, you have tried to call, your call isnt being picked, you sent text, no reply and yet the person wont get across to you especially when you arent even aware of any problem btw the two of you.......
now i get u....in that case whoever involve should know that d relationship is about to hit d rock
Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:49 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- mystangel at 25-03-2011 02:50 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
true

Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:50 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- blessedme at 25-03-2011 02:53 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
 Wink
Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:53 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- sobeit at 25-03-2011 02:58 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sophiebaby on 25-03-2011 01:51 PM
Its really painful when you are being given a silent treatment
yap!!i could lose my cool if the situation at hand is a critical one.
Posted: at 25-03-2011 02:58 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- trolling at 25-03-2011 03:05 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
To chip in a lil' somethin':Answer a fool according to his folly, then you can also ''Answer not a fool according to his folly lest he/she be wise in her own conceit.You just gat to know when to hold it or fold it, but without discretion you wont know when to speak or when not to speak,like the Preacher said A time to speak and a time to refrain from speaking.
Posted: at 25-03-2011 03:05 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- chiglamour4u at 25-03-2011 03:06 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
silent mood activated
Posted: at 25-03-2011 03:06 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- divineproject at 25-03-2011 03:07 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: sobeit on 25-03-2011 02:58 PM
Quote from: sophiebaby on 25-03-2011 01:51 PM
Its really painful when you are being given a silent treatment
yap!!i could lose my cool if the situation at hand is a critical one.

hmmm

Posted: at 25-03-2011 03:07 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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