Things a Nigerian does after returning from Abroad (Page 19)

maybe na chanel ............

21.     Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20.     Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health consciousness.

19.     Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18.     Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17.     Says "Hey" instead of  "Hi".
       says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
       Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
       Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
       Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
       Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
       Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
       Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16.     Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15.     Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in thousands)

14.     Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 165 times).

13.     Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12.     When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11.     Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10.     Makes fun of Nigerian Dialies  and Nigerian Road Conditions.

9.      Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8.      Avoids eating more gala (hot) stuff.

7.      Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6.      Tries to complain about any thing in Nigeria as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5.      Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4.      Looks speciously towards Hotel food.

Few more important

3.      From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to Nigeria, even after 4 months of arrival.

2.      Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in Nigeria, tries to roll the bag on Naija Roads.

Ultimate one

1.      Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US...