Five Signs of an Angry Black Woman

At the risk of reinforcing a negative stereotype, I have to admit that there is such a thing as Angry Black Woman (ABW) syndrome. It is worth stating that not every SIS suffers from this ailment (and not every angry person is black or single).

So, while I tried to determine whether there was any validity to the ABW accusation made against yours truly, I came up with a list of five signs I think separate the ABW from regular folks who limit their anger to obscene hand gestures made toward the horrible driver in the next lane.

Here’s the list of signs I came up with.

You Might Be an ABW If…:

You’re Constantly Urged to Seek Therapy (or Jesus)
Of course, not all church invitations are extended because of suspected anger management issues, but if your friends respond to what you consider normal venting, by inviting you to Sunday service and/or suggesting you seek professional help, you might have a problem. If more than a few confidantes have advised you to get counseling or pastoral guidance, they are telling you: (1) your issues are too big for them to handle and (2) only God, or someone trained to deal with insane or possessed people, can help you.

You’re a Hater
If you’re an ABW, it’s hard for you to take your eyes off your own discontentment long enough to be happy for somebody else. You’ll look for any excuse to avoid celebrating weddings, baby showers, housewarmings, promotions or anything that you would prefer be happening to you. A twinge of jealousy isn’t abnormal, but a tirade about how life isn’t fair because you deserve all the good fortune others are experiencing, is a symptom of the syndrome.

You Aren’t Being Asked Why You’re Single
I know. It’s an annoying question, “Why are you single”? However, I take it as an indicator of my loveable charm. For the life of them, those around me cannot understand why some guy hasn’t seen all the wonderful attributes and characteristics they see in me. So, it stands to reason that if no one’s asking you why you’re single, it might be because the reasons are clear to them. A rotten attitude might be the cause.

You’re Never Satisfied
A neighbor offers to shovel your walk, but you complain that he didn’t clean off your car. A friend promised to go to a movie with you, but you’re angry at her ‘cause her unexpected coma ruined your plans. The ABW always finds a reason to fuss. There are very few silver linings or bright sides. The worst part? Even the rational irritations seem irrational when the ABW adds her tainted spin to the tales.

You’re Pissed Right Now
If you’re ready to get to cussin’ ‘cause all of the above traits remind you of yourself, then you probably got a problem.

Considering that it’s my list, I might be biased, but after reviewing these traits, I’ve concluded that I am not an angry, black woman. LOL.

Are you?