![-]( "ILOVEIT") ILOVEIT at 6-05-2011 09:48 PM (14 years ago)  (m) DK and SBI dey talk say woman wan carry them alter sharpily without getting to know them well
will u take eternity to know a girl or is 5 years not too much for courtship ni
Listen my dear, I've seen a relationship of 7yrs, 9yrs and still they didn't make it to alter... not one not two, so many people out there are even in a relationship more than 5yrs, still not thinking of settling together.. I want to let u ladies know one thing. You have the power and smart senses to know or perceive it, in your relationship where it's heading to.. Most ladies force it to end at the alter while is not suppose to end there, simply because they dream dreams and hope so much in that relationship even if they're finding it difficult with the guy. they still wanna stick in there and will not let go, If you ask them, they will say... they're madly in love, Who told them that?? For me, is madness.. Once you discover that yr partner is not compatible with u, is better to make quick and early exit than allowing it to get to many years, and then you will be left with no choices because you've counted so many years and time wasted. Another thing is this, Most young girls don't always take relationship serious, when they're btw the ages 18-26 yrs, They just wanna flirt and do all kinds of things in the name of having fun.. To have fun is good but think of future atimes. once they enter 27 - 30 yrs, they begin to see that years have run out of them and thats when most of them start thinking or having the feelings of dating a man seriously, thinking that between one year or two, the man is taking them to alter... who says that or guaranteeing that ? Lets just take a look about this from the other way again. Some will have the time to date from early stage, but changing of men or having series of dates change their thinking and thoughts about Men. They see all Men as been the same, No doubt about that, some men could be terrible when it comes to relationship matter, You can meet some cheats, you can meet some players, you can meet some double daters and etc .. But don't forget the same goes in women, and most of this guys are the victims of relationship circumstances, some women are out there just to deal with Men and all this turn some guys to serious hunters... All most women need is the ability to study and read yr man, when yr in relationship to know exactly the future of that relationship, remain patience, truthful, tolerance, be supportive, do those things you can do to retain yr relationship, don't count times for him, take off any such of discussions/questions that will direct/indirectly pushing the man to ask yr hand in marriage.. this is one place most ladies make mistake, asking a guy million times, Do you love me, what is our plan for future,,, You think men are stupid ? No they're not, They're very smart CIA's no matter how dull you see/think the one you have is behaving. You just have to play a role that will make the man always looking for you, searching for you, trying all his best to keep you to himself, from there you will see how much he loves you and will go any length to ask you to marry him. Give him reasons no matter how long it takes both of u to be together. if you were meant to be together, nothing will come in between that. But i still dey ask Guys Maka why, Make why we no fit open up and tell the ladies that we can't have them as wife, esp when age is not on their side ? Guys Maka Why  Dk i see reasons in what u are saying...but ow can u be in r/ship with a man for more than 5years without defining it.. For instance, I was 25 wen i met u and then we started dating for almost 9years without nothing...and then at d end of the day we go our seperate ways hoping to find love again...now add 9years to ma previous age..it will give u 34 and most guys of 34 are already in a serious r/ship while most are married....now, guys of ma age will not want me cos am growing older but rather they will prefer d younger ones Where do I start from....and so many questions without answers will began to creep in....that is y u see so many elderly women without husband today...... Inorder to avoid such, i will always ask questions like what makes u love me, wat do u what from me, I will give u some time to talk but if u refuse i will ask u where dis r/ship is heading to...if u are not gonna marry me tell me u cant marry me, not wen d r/ship gets to 5years and above, u will now tell me ur parents doesnt want someone from my region or some flimsy excuses that doesnt count ur right b4 5 years u shld know if u ar to stay or nt, most girl will remain there even wen d hnd written is on d hall hoping it will be fine. some time most of our girls force their self to a man even when he is nt interested, i know of a lady who pack her bags to her bf house remain permanently with him for over 4 years and withing this period she acts like his wife even when d guy try to mk her realize is nt working at d end wat happens she end up loosing wasting her time and energy. mk them girls wise up i beg they shld know that every relationship is try ur luck if it works out for u both fine u must nt kill urself for one guy all in d name of he must marry u cos u are dating. i quit my relationship once i see it wasn't working, u go tire urself in one relationship better one go dey pass u bye
whistling and waiting for gum to chew.
@Dk-i hail for the above comment you made there.
The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that, genius has it limits.. | Posted: at 6-05-2011 09:48 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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nice one peeps | Posted: at 6-05-2011 09:55 PM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "ILOVEIT") ILOVEIT at 6-05-2011 10:00 PM (14 years ago) (m) watin i wnt ask be say, y stay in a relationship for dat long no proposing na nw d girl realize say na one chance she enter ni, if a guy is ready to marry u one year is ok for him to propose and start d marriage plan nt 5 - 7 years make u turn liability for hin hand ni,
Guys if u Know u wnt marry a girl y keep her for dat long? expecting her to do ur wify duties na wa sha
1 yrs is kinda short...no?
Neeeeeh!Till then the guy will know if it's her d one he wants!
I'm not saying to get married by that time,but the proposal usually comes till then,if he is really sure he wants her,
but if has doubts, he'll delay!
If a guy wud ask me after 1 year my answer wud b NO 1 year of intensive dating and he still didn't pop d question? (note:I'm referring at adult ppl here,not teenagers or something)
So,it shouldn't take him so long till he knows that the 'one' is in his life,that there was never anyone like her in his life b4 and he knows there won't be again.So normally he should stop dilly-dallying and get on with it.  How does he know there won't be others like her again? 1 yr is rushing things a bit. I agree with flymamacita in these exchanges.
Trust me!u wrong there..some people can fake their real self for more than a year.
You know that saying, that u can live an entire life with a person, and u can still not know him/her!
Are u telling me that after a year of intensive dating they still don't know if they want each other or not?
Come on!
Maybe if we are taking about ppls in their early twenties! the word "intensive" can't still make any difference if the ppl involve choice to be adamant on issue that matters most.mind you,all depends on individuals.and i don't base my comment on teenagers.
I was asked even after 1 month,even 2 weeks, that doesn't mean that they must do the wedding right away, but they must know where they are heading!
Hope u understood me! i understand u quite well.but engaging some one in a rush and later call it a quit after the person involve might have discovered some dark sides of the lady.. make no sense to me.marriage is a life time institution that needs no rush, cuz any mistake made,the person have to live with it till the end. haven said so,i don't believe in long term relationships without concrete directions
The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that, genius has it limits.. | Posted: at 6-05-2011 10:00 PM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
|
![-]( "dirtykid") dirtykid at 7-05-2011 12:14 AM (14 years ago) (m) 
DirtyKid is a Happy Kid !!.....FATHER !! I've cast my bread on the waters long time ago. Now it's time 4u to return it, well buttered !! | Posted: at 7-05-2011 12:14 AM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
Reply |
watin i wnt ask be say, y stay in a relationship for dat long no proposing na nw d girl realize say na one chance she enter ni, if a guy is ready to marry u one year is ok for him to propose and start d marriage plan nt 5 - 7 years make u turn liability for hin hand ni,
Guys if u Know u wnt marry a girl y keep her for dat long? expecting her to do ur wify duties na wa sha
1 yrs is kinda short...no?
Neeeeeh!Till then the guy will know if it's her d one he wants!
I'm not saying to get married by that time,but the proposal usually comes till then,if he is really sure he wants her,
but if has doubts, he'll delay!
If a guy wud ask me after 1 year my answer wud b NO
So,it shouldn't take him so long till he knows that the 'one' is in his life,that there was never anyone like her in his life b4 and he knows there won't be again.So normally he should stop dilly-dallying and get on with it. How does he know there won't be others like her again? 1 yr is rushing things a bit. I agree with flymamacita in these exchanges.
Trust me!u wrong there..some people can fake their real self for more than a year.
You know that saying, that u can live an entire life with a person, and u can still not know him/her!
Are u telling me that after a year of intensive dating they still don't know if they want each other or not?
Come on!
Maybe if we are taking about ppls in their early twenties! the word "intensive" can't still make any difference if the ppl involve choice to be adamant on issue that matters most.mind you,all depends on individuals.and i don't base my comment on teenagers.
I was asked even after 1 month,even 2 weeks, that doesn't mean that they must do the wedding right away, but they must know where they are heading!
Hope u understood me! i understand u quite well.but engaging some one in a rush and later call it a quit after the person involve might have discovered some dark sides of the lady.. make no sense to me.marriage is a life time institution that needs no rush, cuz any mistake made,the person have to live with it till the end. haven said so,i don't believe in long term relationships without concrete directions seconded, one thing i have come to find out is that guys dont like defining relationships, the best they would say is "lets see how it goes"...den if d gurl truly luvs d guy, she wil continue dating him hoping that he wud propose finally. | Posted: at 7-05-2011 09:05 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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watin i wnt ask be say, y stay in a relationship for dat long no proposing na nw d girl realize say na one chance she enter ni, if a guy is ready to marry u one year is ok for him to propose and start d marriage plan nt 5 - 7 years make u turn liability for hin hand ni,
Guys if u Know u wnt marry a girl y keep her for dat long? expecting her to do ur wify duties na wa sha
1 yrs is kinda short...no?
Neeeeeh!Till then the guy will know if it's her d one he wants!
I'm not saying to get married by that time,but the proposal usually comes till then,if he is really sure he wants her,
but if has doubts, he'll delay!
If a guy wud ask me after 1 year my answer wud b NO
So,it shouldn't take him so long till he knows that the 'one' is in his life,that there was never anyone like her in his life b4 and he knows there won't be again.So normally he should stop dilly-dallying and get on with it. How does he know there won't be others like her again? 1 yr is rushing things a bit. I agree with flymamacita in these exchanges.
Trust me!u wrong there..some people can fake their real self for more than a year.
You know that saying, that u can live an entire life with a person, and u can still not know him/her!
Are u telling me that after a year of intensive dating they still don't know if they want each other or not?
Come on!
Maybe if we are taking about ppls in their early twenties! the word "intensive" can't still make any difference if the ppl involve choice to be adamant on issue that matters most.mind you,all depends on individuals.and i don't base my comment on teenagers.
I was asked even after 1 month,even 2 weeks, that doesn't mean that they must do the wedding right away, but they must know where they are heading!
Hope u understood me! i understand u quite well.but engaging some one in a rush and later call it a quit after the person involve might have discovered some dark sides of the lady.. make no sense to me.marriage is a life time institution that needs no rush, cuz any mistake made,the person have to live with it till the end. haven said so, i don't believe in long term relationships without concrete directions
life for good or not!
That doesn't mean that she should stress the guy with questions about their future!A woman must know without questioning
or putting any kind of pressure on d guy!That would be very foolish!
What I'm saying is that even if u don't know what u want, u must definitely know what u DON'T want, and therefore they shouldn't waste each other's time!
Live and let live! | Posted: at 7-05-2011 09:15 AM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
|
DK and SBI dey talk say woman wan carry them alter sharpily without getting to know them well
will u take eternity to know a girl or is 5 years not too much for courtship ni
Listen my dear, I've seen a relationship of 7yrs, 9yrs and still they didn't make it to alter... not one not two, so many people out there are even in a relationship more than 5yrs, still not thinking of settling together.. I want to let u ladies know one thing. You have the power and smart senses to know or perceive it, in your relationship where it's heading to.. Most ladies force it to end at the alter while is not suppose to end there, simply because they dream dreams and hope so much in that relationship even if they're finding it difficult with the guy. they still wanna stick in there and will not let go, If you ask them, they will say... they're madly in love, Who told them that?? For me, is madness.. Once you discover that yr partner is not compatible with u, is better to make quick and early exit than allowing it to get to many years, and then you will be left with no choices because you've counted so many years and time wasted. Another thing is this, Most young girls don't always take relationship serious, when they're btw the ages 18-26 yrs, They just wanna flirt and do all kinds of things in the name of having fun.. To have fun is good but think of future atimes. once they enter 27 - 30 yrs, they begin to see that years have run out of them and thats when most of them start thinking or having the feelings of dating a man seriously, thinking that between one year or two, the man is taking them to alter... who says that or guaranteeing that ? Lets just take a look about this from the other way again. Some will have the time to date from early stage, but changing of men or having series of dates change their thinking and thoughts about Men. They see all Men as been the same, No doubt about that, some men could be terrible when it comes to relationship matter, You can meet some cheats, you can meet some players, you can meet some double daters and etc .. But don't forget the same goes in women, and most of this guys are the victims of relationship circumstances, some women are out there just to deal with Men and all this turn some guys to serious hunters... All most women need is the ability to study and read yr man, when yr in relationship to know exactly the future of that relationship, remain patience, truthful, tolerance, be supportive, do those things you can do to retain yr relationship, don't count times for him, take off any such of discussions/questions that will direct/indirectly pushing the man to ask yr hand in marriage.. this is one place most ladies make mistake, asking a guy million times, Do you love me, what is our plan for future,,, You think men are stupid ? No they're not, They're very smart CIA's no matter how dull you see/think the one you have is behaving. You just have to play a role that will make the man always looking for you, searching for you, trying all his best to keep you to himself, from there you will see how much he loves you and will go any length to ask you to marry him. Give him reasons no matter how long it takes both of u to be together. if you were meant to be together, nothing will come in between that. But i still dey ask Guys Maka why, Make why we no fit open up and tell the ladies that we can't have them as wife, esp when age is not on their side ? Guys Maka Why Dk i see reasons in what u are saying...but ow can u be in r/ship with a man for more than 5years without defining it.. For instance, I was 25 wen i met u and then we started dating for almost 9years without nothing...and then at d end of the day we go our seperate ways hoping to find love again...now add 9years to ma previous age..it will give u 34 and most guys of 34 are already in a serious r/ship while most are married....now, guys of ma age will not want me cos am growing older but rather they will prefer d younger ones Where do I start from....and so many questions without answers will began to creep in....that is y u see so many elderly women without husband today...... Inorder to avoid such, i will always ask questions like what makes u love me, wat do u what from me, I will give u some time to talk but if u refuse i will ask u where dis r/ship is heading to...if u are not gonna marry me tell me u cant marry me, not wen d r/ship gets to 5years and above, u will now tell me ur parents doesnt want someone from my region or some flimsy excuses that doesnt count ur right b4 5 years u shld know if u ar to stay or nt, most girl will remain there even wen d hnd written is on d hall hoping it will be fine. some time most of our girls force their self to a man even when he is nt interested, i know of a lady who pack her bags to her bf house remain permanently with him for over 4 years and withing this period she acts like his wife even when d guy try to mk her realize is nt working at d end wat happens she end up loosing wasting her time and energy. mk them girls wise up i beg they shld know that every relationship is try ur luck if it works out for u both fine u must nt kill urself for one guy all in d name of he must marry u cos u are dating. i quit my relationship once i see it wasn't working, u go tire urself in one relationship better one go dey pass u bye whistling and waiting for gum to chew. @Dk-i hail for the above comment you made there. u say mk u cm today, | Posted: at 7-05-2011 09:56 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "Dan_Fulani") Dan_Fulani at 7-05-2011 10:00 AM (14 years ago) (m)
Nice story and question, Ms.. jukkiebukwes. I love the way
you dealt with the bb/ Sophie distraction.
Now to the original question:
>>>Must i dish out all that is supposedly reserved for my future husband
to my boyfriend. In the same vein, should I expect him to act as a husband as well?
Let me know what you think and also share your girlfriend-wife/boyfriend-husband
experiences!<<<<
I hold opinion with your auntie. In a relationship both parties need
to show each other that they are a good match. In most cases that
include acting as a wife or a husband. It like a trial marriage with a
time limit. I say 5 years is too long. Maximun should be 18 to 24 months.
If after two years, he did not propose, the lady should propose or ask
where the relationship is headed. If he still fails to get the hint, dump him.
Time is not on the side of the lady so why waste it on a man who cannot
appreciate her worth? That is my humble view.
dan fulani | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:00 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
![-]( "50scent") 50scent at 7-05-2011 10:03 AM (14 years ago) (m) Reply |
hm,na wa o | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:06 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
watin i wnt ask be say, y stay in a relationship for dat long no proposing na nw d girl realize say na one chance she enter ni, if a guy is ready to marry u one year is ok for him to propose and start d marriage plan nt 5 - 7 years make u turn liability for hin hand ni,
Guys if u Know u wnt marry a girl y keep her for dat long? expecting her to do ur wify duties na wa sha
1 yrs is kinda short...no?
Neeeeeh!Till then the guy will know if it's her d one he wants!
I'm not saying to get married by that time,but the proposal usually comes till then,if he is really sure he wants her,
but if has doubts, he'll delay!
If a guy wud ask me after 1 year my answer wud b NO
So,it shouldn't take him so long till he knows that the 'one' is in his life,that there was never anyone like her in his life b4 and he knows there won't be again.So normally he should stop dilly-dallying and get on with it. How does he know there won't be others like her again? 1 yr is rushing things a bit. I agree with flymamacita in these exchanges.
Trust me!u wrong there..some people can fake their real self for more than a year.
You know that saying, that u can live an entire life with a person, and u can still not know him/her!
Are u telling me that after a year of intensive dating they still don't know if they want each other or not?
Come on!
Maybe if we are taking about ppls in their early twenties! the word "intensive" can't still make any difference if the ppl involve choice to be adamant on issue that matters most.mind you,all depends on individuals.and i don't base my comment on teenagers.
I was asked even after 1 month,even 2 weeks, that doesn't mean that they must do the wedding right away, but they must know where they are heading!
Hope u understood me! i understand u quite well.but engaging some one in a rush and later call it a quit after the person involve might have discovered some dark sides of the lady.. make no sense to me.marriage is a life time institution that needs no rush, cuz any mistake made,the person have to live with it till the end. haven said so, i don't believe in long term relationships without concrete directions
life for good or not!
That doesn't mean that she should stress the guy with questions about their future!A woman must know without questioning
or putting any kind of pressure on d guy!That would be very foolish!
What I'm saying is that even if u don't know what u want, u must definitely know what u DON'T want, and therefore they shouldn't waste each other's time! | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:08 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
Nice story and question, Ms.. jukkiebukwes. I love the way
you dealt with the bb/ Sophie distraction.
Now to the original question:
>>>Must i dish out all that is supposedly reserved for my future husband
to my boyfriend. In the same vein, should I expect him to act as a husband as well?
Let me know what you think and also share your girlfriend-wife/boyfriend-husband
experiences!<<<<
I hold opinion with your auntie. In a relationship both parties need
to show each other that they are a good match. In most cases that
include acting as a wife or a husband. It like a trial marriage with a
time limit. I say 5 years is too long. Maximun should be 18 to 24 months.
If after two years, he did not propose, the lady should propose or ask
where the relationship is headed. If he still fails to get the hint, dump him.
Time is not on the side of the lady so why waste it on a man who cannot
appreciate her worth? That is my humble view.
dan fulani
but relationship and marriage is a two different thing...if d lady shud propose or ask, it wud be called desperation on her part and believe me, most guys hate being asked such question. | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:13 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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maka why is still going on | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:20 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
maka why are u asking?? | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:30 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
![-]( "Dan_Fulani") Dan_Fulani at 7-05-2011 10:33 AM (14 years ago) (m) Cheiiii... Maka why don enter page 24. .. Now i'm asking Maka why ?
Reason is that this question is one many women are trying to answer for themselves.
It deals with how men and women view relationships. Both appraoch relationship
fron different angles.
Women:
Women see a relationship as audition for future life together as in marriage.
View a boyfriend as a potential husband, father of her children, a provider and
protector. A lady needs to know if the boyfriend is marriage material in a short time.
Hates to waste time on a no-go (dead end) relation. Except he has lots of money.
Men:
Marriage is the fathest thing from the mind when a guy starts a relationship.
View having a girlfriend as something you do when you get to a certain age,
a status symbol, someone you show off to your friends and family. You do not
necesarily consider her a marriage prospect till later in the relationship.
She often has to nugde you towards marriage.
dan fulani | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:33 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
Cheiiii... Maka why don enter page 24. .. Now i'm asking Maka why ?
Reason is that this question is one many women are trying to answer for themselves.
It deals with how men and women view relationships. Both appraoch relationship
fron different angles.
Women:
Women see a relationship as audition for future life together as in marriage.
View a boyfriend as a potential husband, father of her children, a provider and
protector. A lady needs to know if the boyfriend is marriage material in a short time.
Hates to waste time on a no-go (dead end) relation. Except he has lots of money.
Men:
Marriage is the fathest thing from the mind when a guy starts a relationship.
View having a girlfriend as something you do when you get to a certain age,
a status symbol, someone you show off to your friends and family. You do not
necesarily consider her a marriage prospect till later in the relationship.
She often has to nugde you towards marriage.
dan fulanihummmmmm, reading and learning | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:39 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
Cheiiii... Maka why don enter page 24. .. Now i'm asking Maka why ?
Reason is that this question is one many women are trying to answer for themselves.
It deals with how men and women view relationships. Both appraoch relationship
fron different angles.
Women:
Women see a relationship as audition for future life together as in marriage.
View a boyfriend as a potential husband, father of her children, a provider and
protector. A lady needs to know if the boyfriend is marriage material in a short time.
Hates to waste time on a no-go (dead end) relation. Except he has lots of money.
Men:
Marriage is the fathest thing from the mind when a guy starts a relationship.
View having a girlfriend as something you do when you get to a certain age,
a status symbol, someone you show off to your friends and family. You do not
necesarily consider her a marriage prospect till later in the relationship.
She often has to nugde you towards marriage.
dan fulaniVery very very insightful one here.............thumbs up DF
A LITTLE HELP HERE; A LITTLE HELP THERE, MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND! | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:40 AM (14 years ago) | Hero | |
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![-]( "Dan_Fulani") Dan_Fulani at 7-05-2011 10:49 AM (14 years ago) (m)
@jukkiebukwes
>>>but relationship and marriage is a two different thing...if d lady shud propose or ask, it wud be called
desperation on her part and believe me, most guys hate being asked such question.<<<
In our culture it could be called desperation but not in other cultures. Consider India and parts of Germany
where families advertise for husbands for their children. Or Isreal where women go to matchmakers to
help find husbands. Would you call these desperate situations? I see nigerian girls are using the personals
and dating sites to find husbands. I do not consider them desperate..........just using the tools available to
reach their goals. So is proposing to your boyfriend..someone you know already.
dan fulani | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:49 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
@jukkiebukwes
>>>but relationship and marriage is a two different thing...if d lady shud propose or ask, it wud be called
desperation on her part and believe me, most guys hate being asked such question.<<<
In our culture it could be called desperation but not in other cultures. Consider India and parts of Germany
where families advertise for husbands for their children. Or Isreal where women go to matchmakers to
help find husbands. Would you call these desperate situations? I see nigerian girls are using the personals
and dating sites to find husbands. I do not consider them desperate..........just using the tools available to
reach their goals. So is proposing to your boyfriend..someone you know already.
dan fulani
u just said it, its against our culture. it doesnt tell well of a gurl if she proposes 2 her boyfrnd,i havent seen such and havent heard. dis is not asking a guy out now, it is asking him to marry her. i no fit oh, abeg | Posted: at 7-05-2011 10:54 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
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![-]( "Dan_Fulani") Dan_Fulani at 7-05-2011 11:00 AM (14 years ago) (m)
@divineproject
You are always a sweetheart. You say and use the kindest words on Naijapals.
Thank you for the breath of fresh air. I tip my hat to you, Madam. 
dan Fulani | Posted: at 7-05-2011 11:00 AM (14 years ago) | Gistmaniac | |
|
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