UPGrading FRom GIrl FRiend to WIfe

Date: 06-01-2009 7:47 pm (15 years ago) | Author: K
- at 6-01-2009 07:47 PM (15 years ago)
(m)


THIS IS WHAT A GUY WROTE TO A SYSTEM ANALYST;

 Dear Systems Department,


 I am desperate for some help!


 I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child
 Processing and also took up a lot  of space and valuable
 resources.

 This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In
 addition Wife 1.0 Installs itself into all other
 programs and launches during systems Initialization and
 then it monitors all other system activities.


 Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5"
 and "Golf 5.3" no longer Run, and crashes the
 system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Selected
 "Saturday Football 6.3" always fails and
 "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.


 I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the backgroundwhilst
 attempting to run any of my favourite applications. Be it
 online or offline. I am thinking of going back to
 "Girlfriend7. 0", but uninstall doesn't work on
 this program.
 Can you please help?


         ...... AND THIS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID;


 Dear Customer,


 This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
 misunderstanding of the functions of the "wife1.0
 "program. Many customers upgrade from "Girlfriend
 7.0" to "Wife 1.0 " thinking that "Wife
 1.0" is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

 Actually, "Wife 1.0 " is an OPERATING SYSTEM
 designed by it's Creator to Run everything. You are
 unlikely to be able to purge "Wife 1.0 "and still
 convert back to "Girlfriend 7.0 ", as "Wife
 1.0" was not designed to do this and it is Impossible
 to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
 System once it is installed. Some people have tried to
 install "Girlfriend 8.0 "or "Wife 2.0 "
 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under
 Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).


 Having " Wife 1.0 " installed, I recommend you
 keep it installed And deal with the difficulties as best as
 you can. When any faults or problems Occur, whatever you
 think has caused them, you must run the
 C:\APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME Program and avoid attempting
 to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

 It may be necessary to run  C:\APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME
 for a number of  times, and eventually hope that the
 operating system will return to normal. "Wife 1.0
 ", although a very high maintenance  program, can be
 very rewarding.


 To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
 Software  such as "Flowers 2.0" and
 "Chocolates 5.0" or  "HUGS\KISSES
 600.0" or "TENDERNESS \ UNDERSTANDING
 1000.0", or even "Eating Out Without the Kids
 7.2.1" (if child processing has already started).

 DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary
 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand
 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported
 Application for "Wife 1.0 "and the system will
 almost certainly CRASH.


 BEST OF LUCK!

 Your Systems Analyst,

 

 

Posted: at 6-01-2009 07:47 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
- Ihuoma at 7-01-2009 02:07 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
Funny...Love it

Posted: at 7-01-2009 02:07 PM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- osituga at 7-01-2009 02:12 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
too much..can't read...>>>>out
Posted: at 7-01-2009 02:12 PM (15 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- SAmyrocko at 7-01-2009 04:34 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
My glass don lose. haha

Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:34 PM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- prencess at 7-01-2009 04:36 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
eyes close Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool
Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:36 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- biafra at 7-01-2009 04:50 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
this is a lovley post.
the program is a wonderful one, but the most effective software that helps to control or manage the way the OS works is Prayer 1.0 or its upgrades. Grin Smiley
Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:50 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- SAmyrocko at 7-01-2009 04:50 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
nghanu!!!

Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:50 PM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- biafra at 7-01-2009 04:56 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
I think ppl plannig to upgrade should read the manual b4 doing so, cos wife1.0 might be an interesting program if it is understood and it is sometimes user-friendly if a good one is selected and no bugs in ones system.
Posted: at 7-01-2009 04:56 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- Kennee at 7-01-2009 07:01 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
l dey Come, Wait

Posted: at 7-01-2009 07:01 PM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- lonelysnow at 7-01-2009 07:11 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
funny
Posted: at 7-01-2009 07:11 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- SAmyrocko at 8-01-2009 12:21 PM (15 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Kennee on  7-01-2009 07:01 PM
l dey Come, Wait

 Grin Grin  you safe dey run.

Posted: at 8-01-2009 12:21 PM (15 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Tassara at 9-01-2009 02:27 AM (15 years ago)
(f)
geez, that is so phyukin` funny. looooool.
Posted: at 9-01-2009 02:27 AM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- bubbles01 at 11-01-2009 10:59 PM (15 years ago)
(f)
a very good reply 4rm d system analyst. Wink
Posted: at 11-01-2009 10:59 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- Pimpinella at 12-01-2009 03:04 AM (15 years ago)
(f)
i loveb it sooo funny and the truth Grin

Posted: at 12-01-2009 03:04 AM (15 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply