Marriage and Divource : View of a christian (Page 2)

Quote from: Regenesis on 14-12-2009 01:59 AM

I didn't read that article; too long  . But I'm still throwing in my view. I think divorce depends on a lot of things. It should be the last resort, like after you've tried to make it work and there still aren't any changes, then you should look into it. I don't think anyone should stay in an unhappy, abusive or whatever-the-problem-is marriage. Of course, it has to be a big problem. And all the people saying it's wrong to divorce, would you want to stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? There're many reasons why people divorce: abuse (and this can go both ways -women also abuse, and it's isn't just physical, there's also emotional abuse...like name-calling, controlling or being too authoritative, etc), constant cheating, falling out of love (yea, it happens), financial reasons, or even marrying for the wrong reasons in the first place and finding out this isn't the person you're meant to be with. It all depends on the situation, especially if you've kids and your hubby or wife's abusive...you've to put them first and decide whether you want tor raise them in that kind of environment. And with abuse, it's not always easy to leave, especially if it's one of those extreme cases where the man throws threats...I think that's one of the reasons most women stay in those relationships (besides the fact that they think he'll change somehow, someday) because they're afraid for their lives and the lives of their family, while staying itself poses another danger. So it depends on the situation. You have to do what's right for you and if it's the last resort and the only solution, then do what you gotta do. If it's something that can be worked out, then of course try your best to do that and make it work. But if all else fails, then make the right decision for yourself.

Without question you have demonstrated great wisdom, maturity and a well balanced view on the issue of divorce.  I can testify that sometimes great harm is done in the case of domestic violence.  I know of a case in the Diaspora where this lady was being physically abused.  This abuse actually started in Naija and continued after the family traveled overseas.  But as you know they claimed to be born again and the lady kept her husband's domestic violence against her quiet.  One day her neighbor called the police because of the cries coming from the house.  when the police arrived she covered it up.  She discussed wanting to divorce with the pastor of the African church which she attended, but he quoted Jesus (that's what they all do all the time).  Well, we buried her last year; COD: internal bleeding due to blunt force to the body.  It was reported that she fell, but the community knows that she had been mercilessly beaten by her husband, kept it quiet for days while she was bleeding internally.  When she did go to the hospital, it was too late.  It is incontestable that she would have been alive today had she divorced that monster of a husband. Thank you for your balanced view on this issue.

Posted: at 16-04-2010 08:04 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie

It looks like your Jesus has no regard for the woman.  Whether it is the man who abuses her physically only he has the right to put his wife away... this is not the Jesus that I know and worship.  It is so sad when people who lack a basic understanding of the sociological context as well as the "sitz id leben" (the life situation) of the text they quote often quote with some authority.  I am very sure that you neither understand the meaning of what you just affirmed because if you did you would have taken into consideration the fact that both the man and woman enter marriage and the woman is an important factor in the relationship.  You would have also taken into consideration our social construct... Women are the most abused in African societies.  It is acceptable in our culture for men to physically abuse their girlfriends and wives.  Even some pastors are guilty of domestic violence.  To you the "JESUS SAID THIS" man, should a woman be allowed to remain in a marriage in which she is constantly subjected to domestic violence which is life threatening? Would you encourage your sister to stay with a man who kicks her like football?

Would you quote this verse to your sister if she was hospitalized after suffering at the hands of her monster of a husband?  Would you?  You think using the Bible in a cut and paste way solves anything? Think again my dear friend, think again.

Posted: at 16-04-2010 08:43 PM (15 years ago) | Newbie

are u saying that eve divorced adam?

Posted: at 18-04-2010 02:36 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

_^^

Posted: at 29-04-2010 12:41 PM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac

Mt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. This was said by Jesus.

@Equipper: I read so much and about Physical Abuse that it sadden me. A man never hide his true self and these guys that beats their wives does it from beginning. Instead of the wife stop looking at the money and good life and seek assistance for her husband she goes there looking for divorce this is the reason she died with internal bleeding. Every man that does physical and verbal abuse on his wife/girlfriend goes through it as a child. This is the reason we are told to investigate one passed before getting marry.

Now as a Christian I am trying to obey the bible which is the word of God. In Proverbs 31 vs 10 onwards it told us about the role of the wives and there are other roles in the bible that give us the teaching of a woman. We are the protector of the family even though the man is the head after Christ. Now if I truly love someone to marry and I know that he has a problem with beating am going to make sure he is truly recover before I go down the aisle with him. Because there is one date that he places his hand on me that established this nature, there is also his action too as well. I used to date this Nigeria via LDR. He showed that he is a beater, listening to him and how he talks, his action via the CAM I know this started from childhood. Since I love and care for him I tried my best on educating him how wrong physical and verbal abuse is. No one who has this nature is able to hide it.

Divorce is not the end. We are one with our partner when we go inside of a relationship with him/her. As one we should make sure that he is healthy and well behave. A man who doesn't work has a team with his girlfriend is not fit to be a husband.

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Posted: at 30-04-2010 01:28 AM (15 years ago) | Gistmaniac