I’m In Love With My Co-Worker but He Changed When He Moved In

Dear Friend,

I’m in love with my co-worker and have been for the past year. I am a very jealous person and don’t know how to control it. When he and I first met, it was at our job an immediate attraction from day one, and everyday all day we would either be on the phone or texting each other. A couple of months go by and we ended up sleeping together. He tells me that he is married and I almost wanted to cry because I felt lied to. He constantly tells me about how unhappy he is in his marriage so I try be a good friend, and just listen. Soon after that he tells me he needed to talk and his marriage is unraveled and he wants out.

He moves out of his place and moves in with me. He has gotten a divorce since then, but first started talking about how he wanted to be with me and wanting to marry me. He would tell me this while he was married, and it puzzled me that he would still find the time to text and call me. I asked how is that possible? I mean where is your wife while you’re on the phone with me?

We haven’t been sleeping together because I’m bothered about his being so secretive. He is always texting and now my feelings have got caught up and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m so unhappy because even though we aren’t sleeping together, our friendship is going down the drain because I sometimes act like I’m the girlfriend when I’m only his friend. We have both decided that being in a relationship isn’t healthy because I don’t trust him. My trust is because while he was married he was always texting me or hanging out with me. I don’t want to damage our friendship, but I am just wondering should I just call it quits and tell him to leave because I’ve been in tears wanting to be with him, but know it would never work out.

We are both going to school full-time and work full-time. I feel as though he is starting to talk to someone else because he seems to text all the time. I even talked to him about him texting because it bothers me. All I ask is that he gives me the same respect that I give him. He is sleeping in my bed and I’m not sleeping with anyone else so I just choose to be celibate. I can’t keep living like this and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m in love and just want these feelings to go away. He tells me that I don’t have a right to ask him who he is texting because he pays his bills, and I know he is right but I wish I could find out.

I recently thought about downloading a program on his phone that will send all his text and calls to my email, but I feel like I’m way over the line. His pattern hasn’t changed with me and by that I mean he comes home at the same time and has never been late for work. Ugh! I feel so dumb. I respect all your thoughts on different situations but when you respond to me could you please not call me a Itchbay. I can deal with criticism but not disrespect thanks. – 

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Posted: at 21-03-2012 01:45 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

 

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Posted: at 21-03-2012 02:37 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

 

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Posted: at 21-03-2012 03:28 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

I see

Posted: at 21-03-2012 03:40 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

this his attitude of double dating will ever continue, ask yourself if this is our dream man. if yuor answer is yes continue, if no quict

Posted: at 21-03-2012 04:00 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

I dont know d ans yet

Posted: at 21-03-2012 04:07 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac

I'm still meditating when anything is revealed to me I will let u know........but no vision for now

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Posted: at 21-03-2012 05:08 PM (13 years ago) | Hero

 

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Posted: at 14-04-2012 05:01 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero

Ma'am u aren't helpin ursef. Wif this u av a high tendency of losing ur rightful partner and it dosnt sim lyk dis man will ever marry u. Let him go or free him, which ever u choose to do is for ur benefit. I say this cos men are out there waitin n watchn bt they may not approach u cos they'l fink u av smfin wif this guy. Y not do ursef some good by tellin him to get out of ur life. The fact is he dosnt love u, n even u do not love him. Look down deep within u and tell me if u really do love him. U r afraid to lose him cos u'v got so fond of each other and u dnt fink ther is any other, bt there are men out there. If this man loves u, he wldnt waste tym bt marry u. Let me warn u, he is not a stable kinda guy so forget abt love! He doest love u n u are makin a mistake living wif him.ther is nofin more I av to say. Ur man is out there!

Posted: at 15-04-2012 02:13 PM (13 years ago) | Newbie

 

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Posted: at 16-04-2012 11:02 AM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero