Transgender Teenager, 17, Leaves Heartbreaking Suicide Note Blaming Her Parents

Date: 31-12-2014 9:42 am (9 years ago) | Author: CLARA JANCITA
[1] 2
- at 31-12-2014 09:42 AM (9 years ago)
(f)

A transgender teenager who committed suicide by walking in front of a tractor trailer in Ohio left a heartbreaking letter in which she blamed her religious parents.
Leelah Alcorn, 17, died in the early hours of Sunday on highway I-71 in Warren County, Ohio, a few miles from her family home.
The high school student left a suicide note accusing her devout Christian parents of refusing to acknowledge her gender and forbidding her from transitioning.The suicide note was posted on Leelah’s tumblr account through scheduled publishing just a few hours after her death.
The note begins:
If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.
Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4.
I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.
When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.
My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.
When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.
I formed a sort of a “f*** you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock.
Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.
So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.
At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a shit about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.

After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like shit because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound.
I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself.
Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me.
As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s f***ed up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Goodbye,


Posted: at 31-12-2014 09:42 AM (9 years ago) | Hero
- Aniagain at 31-12-2014 10:03 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
Stupid boy, dem suppose flog ur dead body sef, transition my foot

Posted: at 31-12-2014 10:03 AM (9 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- morgrawl231 at 31-12-2014 10:04 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
Can u see what social media has caused???  what is this world turnning to?Huh?
Posted: at 31-12-2014 10:04 AM (9 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- schmit at 31-12-2014 11:07 AM (9 years ago)
(f)
Dis pikin dey depressed and sick for head, nonsense
Posted: at 31-12-2014 11:07 AM (9 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Larry28 at 31-12-2014 11:08 AM (9 years ago)
(f)
Hmmm
Posted: at 31-12-2014 11:08 AM (9 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- Mobbysmartins at 31-12-2014 11:34 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
God punish you.Ijiot.
Posted: at 31-12-2014 11:34 AM (9 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- candela at 31-12-2014 11:50 AM (9 years ago)
Online (m)
Very sad RIP
Posted: at 31-12-2014 11:50 AM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- femjay at 31-12-2014 01:11 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
So sad ..........idiot boy  .......... : make God help us for this world º°˚˚˚°ºoOΘ.     
Posted: at 31-12-2014 01:11 PM (9 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- danielsony at 31-12-2014 01:42 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
He destroy himself by himself, judgements day awaits u,
Posted: at 31-12-2014 01:42 PM (9 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Onyibochukwu at 31-12-2014 01:47 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
mumu, I no even read all the stupid write up!
Posted: at 31-12-2014 01:47 PM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Starship at 31-12-2014 01:50 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
foolishness on d rise day by day.
Posted: at 31-12-2014 01:50 PM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- newsmonger at 31-12-2014 02:47 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
It is really sad and disappointing to read some comments here. The lack of empathy and understanding is worrisome and shows that, we as a people still have a long way to go.

The quickness to judgement, the laziness in critical thinking or trying to forsake bias and prejudice to see if you can understand this boy's position and predicament and the willingness to play God and assumption on what God intended is palpable even when the Bible says, there are many things we do not understand and that we see now as through a veil. No! am not gay, that is foreign and strange to me, am married with kids but I have the capacity to empathize with people, to forsake my preconceived ideas and try to listen to others.

Stop to think about it for a second, this guy started having this feeling when he was four years old, before he knew there was facebook or social medial, before he had any friends, read anything about gender, etc...He even said, he never knew what he felt, he did not have a name for it...but internally he felt like a lady. At that young age is when kids starts displaying their gender qualities eg the type of toys they play with, the way they comport themselves, etc and they mostly do this unconsciously. No! he was not possessed, Jesus said the kingdom of God is for little kids like him at that age, they are and were innocent.

There are lot of things we do not understand in life, and we do not have all the answers. We should stop playing God and stop putting every creation of His in a single segxwality bucket and label it as a model of what it should be. segxwally is very complex, it involve lot of chemical balances, hormones, brain mechanism, etc...the way we get our gender is very complex and to reduce it to just two broad categories and label anything else as evil is myopic and playing God.

Lets come to the physical realm that we all understands and can relate to...we have seen people born with 6 fingers or toes, conjoined twins, people with woman parts and men parts, female with more than two Bosom s, people with other physical deformities that do not fit with the norm...I have yet to see anyone judging these people on the contrary we have sympathy and empathy for them, we looked at ourselves, count our blesses and thank God that we were born norm and would not have to face the ridicule or difficulties these people will face in life. Our reaction here was opposite, because we can easily identify with these people.

There is no biased comment asking to the person with 6 fingers to cut the extra digits off else he/she will not be accepted by God. No prompting to conjoined twins to be separated else they will suffer in hell fire...then while judge a little four year old kid, who have the same disposition of been born in a form that do not fit the norm? Do you really think God did not understand his thoughts when he was four year God? Are you saying that God did not create them that way?

For some saying, this is a choice; are you serious....put yourself in their shoes for a moment...picture yourself as a four year old or as a teenage in high school and picture yourself 'making a choice' to be gay...I know! you see how humiliating and disgusting it looks? Look around and see how your friends are laughing at you....look at how few friends you now have...look at the threats you are now getting...look at the isolation, look at the beautiful chicks and girls you will be missing out on...etc.....now snap back to today, and you think any high school kid will purposely put themselves in that position, if you remember high school, everyone flow with the tide, we do what our peers are doing, we want to belong, very few kids flow against the tide and in most cases, it is against their personal choices, it is either through parental strictness or some fear and you say some kids will out of their own choice choose to flow against the tide and trend?...i.e. they are born straight and by choice want to be gay? It is a struggle and a hard choice for them...the truth is they are jealous of you straight kids, they want to be like you, they know society condemns them, ...that is why they hide their identities!
Posted: at 31-12-2014 02:47 PM (9 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- spaceangel at 31-12-2014 03:31 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
God hv mercy on his soul,rip
Posted: at 31-12-2014 03:31 PM (9 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- echeeche at 31-12-2014 03:35 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
Devilish
Posted: at 31-12-2014 03:35 PM (9 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- beneno at 31-12-2014 08:24 PM (9 years ago)
(m)
 Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Posted: at 31-12-2014 08:24 PM (9 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- HOPEA23 at 31-12-2014 11:18 PM (9 years ago)
(f)
Sorri transgender can never be teach in school.sorri..u pple are not the only ones school..and nothing to learb about it...

Posted: at 31-12-2014 11:18 PM (9 years ago) | Addicted Hero
Reply
- Asterimou at 1-01-2015 02:04 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: newsmonger on 31-12-2014 02:47 PM
It is really sad and disappointing to read some comments here. The lack of empathy and understanding is worrisome and shows that, we as a people still have a long way to go.

The quickness to judgement, the laziness in critical thinking or trying to forsake bias and prejudice to see if you can understand this boy's position and predicament and the willingness to play God and assumption on what God intended is palpable even when the Bible says, there are many things we do not understand and that we see now as through a veil. No! am not gay, that is foreign and strange to me, am married with kids but I have the capacity to empathize with people, to forsake my preconceived ideas and try to listen to others.

Stop to think about it for a second, this guy started having this feeling when he was four years old, before he knew there was facebook or social medial, before he had any friends, read anything about gender, etc...He even said, he never knew what he felt, he did not have a name for it...but internally he felt like a lady. At that young age is when kids starts displaying their gender qualities eg the type of toys they play with, the way they comport themselves, etc and they mostly do this unconsciously. No! he was not possessed, Jesus said the kingdom of God is for little kids like him at that age, they are and were innocent.

There are lot of things we do not understand in life, and we do not have all the answers. We should stop playing God and stop putting every creation of His in a single segxwality bucket and label it as a model of what it should be. segxwally is very complex, it involve lot of chemical balances, hormones, brain mechanism, etc...the way we get our gender is very complex and to reduce it to just two broad categories and label anything else as evil is myopic and playing God.

Lets come to the physical realm that we all understands and can relate to...we have seen people born with 6 fingers or toes, conjoined twins, people with woman parts and men parts, female with more than two Bosom s, people with other physical deformities that do not fit with the norm...I have yet to see anyone judging these people on the contrary we have sympathy and empathy for them, we looked at ourselves, count our blesses and thank God that we were born norm and would not have to face the ridicule or difficulties these people will face in life. Our reaction here was opposite, because we can easily identify with these people.

There is no biased comment asking to the person with 6 fingers to cut the extra digits off else he/she will not be accepted by God. No prompting to conjoined twins to be separated else they will suffer in hell fire...then while judge a little four year old kid, who have the same disposition of been born in a form that do not fit the norm? Do you really think God did not understand his thoughts when he was four year God? Are you saying that God did not create them that way?

For some saying, this is a choice; are you serious....put yourself in their shoes for a moment...picture yourself as a four year old or as a teenage in high school and picture yourself 'making a choice' to be gay...I know! you see how humiliating and disgusting it looks? Look around and see how your friends are laughing at you....look at how few friends you now have...look at the threats you are now getting...look at the isolation, look at the beautiful chicks and girls you will be missing out on...etc.....now snap back to today, and you think any high school kid will purposely put themselves in that position, if you remember high school, everyone flow with the tide, we do what our peers are doing, we want to belong, very few kids flow against the tide and in most cases, it is against their personal choices, it is either through parental strictness or some fear and you say some kids will out of their own choice choose to flow against the tide and trend?...i.e. they are born straight and by choice want to be gay? It is a struggle and a hard choice for them...the truth is they are jealous of you straight kids, they want to be like you, they know society condemns them, ...that is why they hide their identities!

We all understood the stupid boy. perhaps you started having that same feeling at 4. For God's sake, i know a little kid of 4 years who just celebrated her birthday today, she don't even know what "thinking" is all about. Take your preaching the countries who think your like and for your information, every child/kid is under his parents guidance and his parent tried everything they could to bring him to his senses. He is not even 18 for God's sake! This is outright rebellion and yes, most of us in Africa says he didn't do well. OS, if he feels he has no right to live cos he want to live a stupid and demonic way of life, so good for him. he did not appreciate his "life" which is very precious in God's eye. am glad his parents did all they could to help him..
So stop writing these kind of things here cos its not welcomed here. take them to the gay world and u will win a medal. not here
Posted: at 1-01-2015 02:04 AM (9 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- Adbb at 1-01-2015 02:52 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
My pple talk say bele full worst pass hunger, if to say this don experience wetin we exp. For naija he won't have d tim for such tuts. Had it been he was hock
Posted: at 1-01-2015 02:52 AM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- Adbb at 1-01-2015 02:55 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
Anoda guy just cari him long grammer take cover my screen abi u been dey date d? Na boy abi na girl finally sef
Posted: at 1-01-2015 02:55 AM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
- darylsmith at 1-01-2015 04:14 AM (9 years ago)
(m)
AFTER TRAILER CRUSH AM, THEY CALLED 911 SCREAMING, I JUST HIT A BOIRL ON THE HIGHWAY, PLS SEND AMBULANCE, QUICK QUUICK
Posted: at 1-01-2015 04:14 AM (9 years ago) | Upcoming
Reply
[1] 2

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