Dating red flags no man should ignore (Page 6)

Date: 12-08-2011 11:04 pm (12 years ago) | Author: Franklyn Adam
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- Allen-jones at 15-08-2011 02:54 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: danpatrick on 15-08-2011 02:39 PM
Quote from: jennypriceson on 14-08-2011 01:36 PM
Quote from: rolifaith on 14-08-2011 01:17 PM
Quote from: jennypriceson on 14-08-2011 11:17 AM
Quote from: divineproject on 13-08-2011 03:41 PM
Quote from: brendivas on 13-08-2011 02:11 AM
Very interesting piece @ livingday. But what are the red flags women should be looking out for in dating men?

abi?

OMG!! This post very much sounds like a man talking!!  ABOUT himself as usual......Men are worse in my experience at giving false impressions at the start to get what they want.  I've had experience with everything stated here. Why am I on my own?  YES I get lonely sometimes but it's men that are secretive especially with their mobile phones and maybe you don't know where she lives because she doesn't trust you enough yet to give you her address OR Maybe she has been bullied or abused in the past! There could be all sorts of reasons.....am not saying anymore on this post @ livingday because it's complete and utter BULL!!

my dear all these have happend to me too but now am just been careful not to be a victim of such again in my life.

You are not alone, my dear sister. Some men have animal feelings but smooth talking to deceive.

My dear, you have 4gotten to mention the sugar-coated lips of women that can talk men out of pocket.

Bros na true talk be dat. Some girls wicked no be small. After talking you out of pocket and when you dey real down, dem go step on u waka commot. Yet they complain at the slightest mistake of man. I mean they are like hot potato in your mouth, you can't swallow it yet you don't want to spit it out and lose it. Cheesy Cheesy Grin
Posted: at 15-08-2011 02:54 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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- precita at 15-08-2011 03:43 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: moniconyez on 15-08-2011 09:24 AM
READ NEXT YEAR
same here
Posted: at 15-08-2011 03:43 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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- moniconyez at 15-08-2011 03:48 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: precita on 15-08-2011 03:43 PM
Quote from: moniconyez on 15-08-2011 09:24 AM
READ NEXT YEAR
same here

Ok, hold my hand make we fly away
Posted: at 15-08-2011 03:48 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
Reply
- samorlar at 15-08-2011 04:44 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: bigbonecrusher on 13-08-2011 03:36 AM
Quote from: brendivas on 13-08-2011 02:11 AM
Very interesting piece @ livingday. But what are the red flags women should be looking out for in dating men?

These points can apply equally to men as well as women. An evasive man is more likely to be married and is having a kick on the side.
A lonely woman or man that finds love is more likely to be very possessive and jealousy. They can kill for love.
The lover on a rebound doesn't make a true love catch until her soul has been purged of her ex.
The aggressive type is to be avoided at all cost

I love that, very nice reply, kudos to all of you, and more kudos to the poster.
Posted: at 15-08-2011 04:44 PM (12 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- slyashabby at 15-08-2011 04:54 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
this is a guide line for all datin women and men that thr are some dos and dont of relationship..so dont go beyond it as it may cost you alot....................oshe
Posted: at 15-08-2011 04:54 PM (12 years ago) | Newbie
Reply
- acome at 15-08-2011 05:21 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
thanks
Posted: at 15-08-2011 05:21 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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- sobeit at 15-08-2011 05:23 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: livingday on 12-08-2011 11:04 PM
Let's be clear, the early stages of a relationship are nothing more than a mutual exchange of half-truths and exaggerations.
By which I mean, the image both parties portray on the first few dates is a long way from the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So how on earth do you get to know the real her before it's too late?

The answer is that you can't, at least not completely. But you can look out for clues to her personality and the sort of girlfriend she's likely to make. Some of them will be positive, but some of them will be dating red flags no man should ignore. Here are a few of the worst offenders...

Aggression

It could be mentioned casually, or even as a joke, but the moment she talks about the time she threw something at an ex is the moment the dating red flag should start flapping away in your mental breeze.
Don't run yet or at least not until you know the facts. But it does require further investigation. Did she throw a cuddly toy (fine) or a china plate (oh dear)? Was it a one-off, or a regular occurrence? Did he deserve it (always remembering that he would have had to go some to deserve the china plate)? It might not be a throw. Maybe she hit him, or threatened him, or just flew into red-hot rages at the slightest provocation. It could be that, as more details come out, you reckon he didn't deserve it while she believes he did. You might believe that even mild aggression has no place in a relationship, while she cites unbearable provocation. There's no definitive right or wrong in that situation, but it does show a fundamental mismatch in outlook that should give you pause for thought.

Loneliness

You'll spend a long time on the first few dates talking about what she likes to do in her free time - her interests, passions and hobbies. One red flag to look out for is the creeping impression that nearly everything she does she does on her own. If not quite friendless, she certainly spends a lot of time enjoying her own company. What's the problem? Well, possibly none, because she may love it that way, or she may have just moved to the area and still be in the process of making friends. But there's also a chance that she is genuinely lonely, and will quickly attach herself to you, limpet-like, as the man to rescue her from long solitary nights. Which is great, if that's what you want too. And if she has very few friends, you have to ask why. Again, there may be an entirely innocent explanation, but it's worth your while digging it out before you commit.

Playing the field

Hopefully you won't spend a lot of time discussing your respective exes on the first few dates but the subject is bound to come up. An obvious red flag to be aware of is recent heartbreak. If the love of her life dumped her within the last year you should probably proceed with the utmost caution. A less obvious one - because the details are less likely to come out - is the serial try it-and-run merchant. Women have just as much right to play the field - to try before they buy - as men. But it's worth being forewarned that this is what she's doing, so you don't fall head over heels with a woman to whom you're just one of several options. So look out for a history of abrupt endings ("I just walked out one day") and the sense that she didn't like - or at least didn't fall for - any of her exes ("he was an idiot"). Chances are, you won't be the man to change her footloose ways.

Rebounding

In most situations, people on first dates don't like to give away too much. They don't want to appear too keen, desperate or needy.  If it's not so, an alarm bell should start to ring. Yes, it's great to feel wanted so quickly but of greater importance for your long-term happiness is why she so desperately wants a boyfriend. And if she starts talking about a future with you in it, or asking if you want children, or grilling you on your own readiness for a "proper relationship" - all in the first few dates - desperate is what she is.  Because - let's face it - after two or three dates she barely knows you (unless you are dating a friend), so how can she be sure you're such a great catch? In fact, she almost certainly isn't sure, so there must be some other reason for her neediness.  And the usual one is that she's on the rebound. She may be canny enough not to mention the fact directly, fearing - quite rightly - that it would put you off. There may be vague mentions of a previous long-term relationship, but that was "a while" ago and she's "over it now". You need to know about that ex before you get in too deep. If she wants a boyfriend so desperately, it could be in the misguided attempt to bandage the wounds of recent heartbreak. We all carry past relationships around, but they should be very much in the past.

Evasiveness

You're a few dates in but she never takes your calls (only answers texts), you have no idea where she lives and only know that her workplace is "somewhere in town". She hasn't accepted your ‘Facebook’ friendship invitation and she insists on meeting in some pretty out-of-the-way places. If any or all of that is true then, as red flags go, it's hardly a subtle one. She's keeping you at arms length for some reason, and if you want to keep dating you'll need to find out what that reason is. It could be perfectly innocent, of course. She's had a few bad dates recently and wants to keep her distance until she knows she can trust you. But any of this could also be a sign that she's dating multiple men or is dating behind her fiancé or husband’s back. The first might be perfectly acceptable (you may be doing the same) but it's good to know where you stand. The second is a disaster waiting to happen.
Whatever it might be, this slippery behaviour needs to be confronted sooner rather than later.



interesting stuff.nice one poster
Posted: at 15-08-2011 05:23 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- livingday at 15-08-2011 06:24 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: bigbonecrusher on 13-08-2011 03:36 AM
Quote from: brendivas on 13-08-2011 02:11 AM
Very interesting piece @ livingday. But what are the red flags women should be looking out for in dating men?

These points can apply equally to men as well as women. An evasive man is more likely to be married and is having a kick on the side.
A lonely woman or man that finds love is more likely to be very possessive and jealousy. They can kill for love.
The lover on a rebound doesn't make a true love catch until her soul has been purged of her ex.
The aggressive type is to be avoided at all cost


Very good reasoning @ bigbonecrusher
Posted: at 15-08-2011 06:24 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- livingday at 15-08-2011 06:27 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: sobeit on 15-08-2011 05:23 PM
Quote from: livingday on 12-08-2011 11:04 PM
Let's be clear, the early stages of a relationship are nothing more than a mutual exchange of half-truths and exaggerations.
By which I mean, the image both parties portray on the first few dates is a long way from the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So how on earth do you get to know the real her before it's too late?

The answer is that you can't, at least not completely. But you can look out for clues to her personality and the sort of girlfriend she's likely to make. Some of them will be positive, but some of them will be dating red flags no man should ignore. Here are a few of the worst offenders...

Aggression

It could be mentioned casually, or even as a joke, but the moment she talks about the time she threw something at an ex is the moment the dating red flag should start flapping away in your mental breeze.
Don't run yet or at least not until you know the facts. But it does require further investigation. Did she throw a cuddly toy (fine) or a china plate (oh dear)? Was it a one-off, or a regular occurrence? Did he deserve it (always remembering that he would have had to go some to deserve the china plate)? It might not be a throw. Maybe she hit him, or threatened him, or just flew into red-hot rages at the slightest provocation. It could be that, as more details come out, you reckon he didn't deserve it while she believes he did. You might believe that even mild aggression has no place in a relationship, while she cites unbearable provocation. There's no definitive right or wrong in that situation, but it does show a fundamental mismatch in outlook that should give you pause for thought.

Loneliness

You'll spend a long time on the first few dates talking about what she likes to do in her free time - her interests, passions and hobbies. One red flag to look out for is the creeping impression that nearly everything she does she does on her own. If not quite friendless, she certainly spends a lot of time enjoying her own company. What's the problem? Well, possibly none, because she may love it that way, or she may have just moved to the area and still be in the process of making friends. But there's also a chance that she is genuinely lonely, and will quickly attach herself to you, limpet-like, as the man to rescue her from long solitary nights. Which is great, if that's what you want too. And if she has very few friends, you have to ask why. Again, there may be an entirely innocent explanation, but it's worth your while digging it out before you commit.

Playing the field

Hopefully you won't spend a lot of time discussing your respective exes on the first few dates but the subject is bound to come up. An obvious red flag to be aware of is recent heartbreak. If the love of her life dumped her within the last year you should probably proceed with the utmost caution. A less obvious one - because the details are less likely to come out - is the serial try it-and-run merchant. Women have just as much right to play the field - to try before they buy - as men. But it's worth being forewarned that this is what she's doing, so you don't fall head over heels with a woman to whom you're just one of several options. So look out for a history of abrupt endings ("I just walked out one day") and the sense that she didn't like - or at least didn't fall for - any of her exes ("he was an idiot"). Chances are, you won't be the man to change her footloose ways.

Rebounding

In most situations, people on first dates don't like to give away too much. They don't want to appear too keen, desperate or needy.  If it's not so, an alarm bell should start to ring. Yes, it's great to feel wanted so quickly but of greater importance for your long-term happiness is why she so desperately wants a boyfriend. And if she starts talking about a future with you in it, or asking if you want children, or grilling you on your own readiness for a "proper relationship" - all in the first few dates - desperate is what she is.  Because - let's face it - after two or three dates she barely knows you (unless you are dating a friend), so how can she be sure you're such a great catch? In fact, she almost certainly isn't sure, so there must be some other reason for her neediness.  And the usual one is that she's on the rebound. She may be canny enough not to mention the fact directly, fearing - quite rightly - that it would put you off. There may be vague mentions of a previous long-term relationship, but that was "a while" ago and she's "over it now". You need to know about that ex before you get in too deep. If she wants a boyfriend so desperately, it could be in the misguided attempt to bandage the wounds of recent heartbreak. We all carry past relationships around, but they should be very much in the past.

Evasiveness

You're a few dates in but she never takes your calls (only answers texts), you have no idea where she lives and only know that her workplace is "somewhere in town". She hasn't accepted your ‘Facebook’ friendship invitation and she insists on meeting in some pretty out-of-the-way places. If any or all of that is true then, as red flags go, it's hardly a subtle one. She's keeping you at arms length for some reason, and if you want to keep dating you'll need to find out what that reason is. It could be perfectly innocent, of course. She's had a few bad dates recently and wants to keep her distance until she knows she can trust you. But any of this could also be a sign that she's dating multiple men or is dating behind her fiancé or husband’s back. The first might be perfectly acceptable (you may be doing the same) but it's good to know where you stand. The second is a disaster waiting to happen.
Whatever it might be, this slippery behaviour needs to be confronted sooner rather than later.



interesting stuff.nice one poster



Thank you bros @ sobeit, have a nice day.
Posted: at 15-08-2011 06:27 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- livingday at 15-08-2011 06:32 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: williams100 on 14-08-2011 05:40 PM
nice article mr livingday.keep it up.i will take it into registration and under advicement.

Thank you my brother Mr Williams100.
Posted: at 15-08-2011 06:32 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- livingday at 15-08-2011 06:35 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: slyashabby on 15-08-2011 04:54 PM
this is a guide line for all datin women and men that thr are some dos and dont of relationship..so dont go beyond it as it may cost you alot....................oshe

Good advice bros! Thanks!
Posted: at 15-08-2011 06:35 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- livingday at 15-08-2011 06:37 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: acome on 15-08-2011 05:21 PM
thanks


You are welcome, bros.
Posted: at 15-08-2011 06:37 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- livingday at 15-08-2011 06:41 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: Rosemerry on 15-08-2011 01:55 PM
Quote from: tarakhanali on 14-08-2011 01:57 PM
Quote from: jennypriceson on 14-08-2011 01:36 PM
Quote from: rolifaith on 14-08-2011 01:17 PM
Quote from: jennypriceson on 14-08-2011 11:17 AM
Quote from: divineproject on 13-08-2011 03:41 PM
Quote from: brendivas on 13-08-2011 02:11 AM
Very interesting piece @ livingday. But what are the red flags women should be looking out for in dating men?

abi?

OMG!! This post very much sounds like a man talking!!  ABOUT himself as usual......Men are worse in my experience at giving false impressions at the start to get what they want.  I've had experience with everything stated here. Why am I on my own?  YES I get lonely sometimes but it's men that are secretive especially with their mobile phones and maybe you don't know where she lives because she doesn't trust you enough yet to give you her address OR Maybe she has been bullied or abused in the past! There could be all sorts of reasons.....am not saying anymore on this post @ livingday because it's complete and utter BULL!!

my dear all these have happend to me too but now am just been careful not to be a victim of such again in my life.

You are not alone, my dear sister. Some men have animal feelings but smooth talking to deceive.

@ jennypriceson, don't 4get that women can be very deceptive too. They can give as much as they get from men if not more. That's what I referred to as the dark soul and two-timing nature of both women and men. You need to lend your shoulder to a weeping man and hear his tale of broken heart wrought by a woman and you will know how baby-like men really are when broken. Grin Cheesy

Right @ tarakhanali. This love of a thing is like survival of the fittest between the two lovers. Anyone of them can inflict maximum damage when he or she falls out of love.

Ladies, the more reasons these red flags will come in handy for both men and women. Afterall, to be 4warned is 2 be 4armed.
Posted: at 15-08-2011 06:41 PM (12 years ago) | Gistmaniac
Reply
- giftmurphy at 15-08-2011 07:25 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
hmmn
Posted: at 15-08-2011 07:25 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
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- ILOVEIT at 15-08-2011 10:06 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: livingday on 13-08-2011 03:22 PM
Quote from: ILOVEIT on 13-08-2011 12:41 AM
what u wrote there is absolutely correct. i give u 9/10 .good research n nice write up..
normally i don't use to read long thing on this site do to most of them doesn't make sense after reading them..but i gbadu dis wan for sure

Thanks bros, you really did make my day! I now know it was not 4 nothing I did the research.

u r welcome bros,it's an interesting piece that folks needs to learn from.once again well done.

Posted: at 15-08-2011 10:06 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
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- tambeiort at 16-08-2011 08:28 PM (12 years ago)
(m)
9ce 1 & noted too.
Posted: at 16-08-2011 08:28 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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- danpatrick at 17-08-2011 01:27 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Me I notice am and I note too.
Posted: at 17-08-2011 01:27 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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- giftmurphy at 17-08-2011 06:33 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
passing
Posted: at 17-08-2011 06:33 PM (12 years ago) | Hero
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- Josseyjessy at 19-08-2011 04:17 AM (12 years ago)
(m)
Pass, obstacle and let me join lively discussion and people.
Posted: at 19-08-2011 04:17 AM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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- Rosemerry at 20-08-2011 08:27 PM (12 years ago)
(f)
Any red flag obstacle?
Posted: at 20-08-2011 08:27 PM (12 years ago) | Upcoming
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