WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T LOVE? (Page 4)

Date: 18-12-2010 12:16 pm (13 years ago) | Author: Nellygold:2 love is 2 heal...
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- nellygold at 19-12-2010 02:51 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: samboko on 19-12-2010 02:35 PM
Poster, i like your responses so far....there is no 10/10 in any relationship, be it just casual friend or marrying partner....for those who read bible, it is not written there that a man will marry a 10/10 wife...but says, any man who marries a woman has found a good thing from the Lord....

To the topic, that your friend needs help! Because, he already signifies that he has tried to let go several times only to find himself back in the lady A's arm....yet he can never marry lady A! It doesnt sound right to me....he even agrees that his wife, lady B has all he wants in a woman....this guy, to me, is not a cheater because he is not messing with other ladies but one particular one he cant marry....he is carrying a heavy load of problem....the easiest way to get out of his problem is to speak out to his wife! Im not expecting the wife to start quarreling or go beat lady A up....both of them need heart-to-heart talk and prayers....whenever the urge comes to him to go see the other woman, he must tell his wife, so the wife can do something.....to me the guy dont have good friends....they should have tried to stop him or help him out from seeing the other lady...now is your turn to help him, poster....


Thanks for the remarks; His friends (male) are wost than him, according to him, so there can be no help from them....; As for the SUBJECT..., he loves the wife...; but when it comes to a particular aspect he doesn't LOVE her
Posted: at 19-12-2010 02:51 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- Michro at 19-12-2010 02:56 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 02:51 PM
Quote from: samboko on 19-12-2010 02:35 PM
Poster, i like your responses so far....there is no 10/10 in any relationship, be it just casual friend or marrying partner....for those who read bible, it is not written there that a man will marry a 10/10 wife...but says, any man who marries a woman has found a good thing from the Lord....

To the topic, that your friend needs help! Because, he already signifies that he has tried to let go several times only to find himself back in the lady A's arm....yet he can never marry lady A! It doesnt sound right to me....he even agrees that his wife, lady B has all he wants in a woman....this guy, to me, is not a cheater because he is not messing with other ladies but one particular one he cant marry....he is carrying a heavy load of problem....the easiest way to get out of his problem is to speak out to his wife! Im not expecting the wife to start quarreling or go beat lady A up....both of them need heart-to-heart talk and prayers....whenever the urge comes to him to go see the other woman, he must tell his wife, so the wife can do something.....to me the guy dont have good friends....they should have tried to stop him or help him out from seeing the other lady...now is your turn to help him, poster....


Thanks for the remarks; His friends (male) are wost than him, according to him, so there can be no help from them....; As for the SUBJECT..., he loves the wife...; but when it comes to a particular aspect he doesn't LOVE her
.

Posted: at 19-12-2010 02:56 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- juleshotluv at 19-12-2010 08:57 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 09:59 AM
Quote from: juleshotluv on 19-12-2010 03:50 AM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 12:16 PM
There's this friend of my, who got married 5years ago; during our chat, he told me, that he's still seeing the lady (Lady A) he went out with before getting married; I was astonish hearing that!, 'cos i know the wife, from my own perspective she (the wife/Lady B) got all it takes, both in terms of beauty and wife material stuffs:

I told him if you so love this other lady, you she have got married to her, instead of your present wife..., you courted both of them and decide to settle for Lady B (the wife); He responds was, over my dead body will i settle for Lady A, but at the same time, i find it difficult letting her go, 'cos i have tried severally to stop seeing her, at the end of the day, i still find myself in her arms; I quit agreed with you that my wife got all it takes, but all the same something is missing somewhere....., you wouldn't get it, he added:

The essence of courtship is to figure out things... before tying knot..., we all know that no one is perfect (i:e no ideal woman/man); but at the same time, i think, E:g if out of 10 characteristic we need..., we find say 7 in one particular person; why will one get stuck with a fellow that has 4, when he already tie the knot, with the one that has 7?. It suck!; Moreover, i found out, that he's not ready to quit Lady A, 'Cos when i asked him, how will you handle things, if your wife finds out? he said, how will she..? you are not gonna tell her, will you?

So my question is, WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE/WANT?


Because they are desperate at this point and they are willing to settle down with whatever they can find. Even if they have a list of requirements about what they want in a woman, they still say Oh, its 4 out of 7..I guess she is manageable. But what people don't know is that, its not manageable if that is not what you have in mind. if that is not what your requirement entails then you shouldn't sell yourself short. Be patient and wait for your 7/7 because there is definitely someone out there who has all your requirements.

In tends of the man and his wife, He has to somehow confront his wife at some point. If he love and respect his wife then he needs to come clean with her, 99 days for the thief but 1 day for the owner, she will definitely find out even if its not from you poster. that is if she haven't find out by now and she is pretending. He might never know, maybe she wants him to say something. maybe she too is not enjoying the sex.

Sure! someday she might find out, 'cos she somehow suspest him already: Regarding the characteristics, what he got is a better option, she got 7/10 while the other got 4/10, from my perspective 10/10 doesn't exist, ideal partner is just a fantacy, cos nobody is perfect, in-other-words he should count himself lucky 4 having 7/10 


I disagree with you..10/10 does exist. If you know God and you trust in him and believe that with God all things are possible then a 10/10 is also possible.


Dont count yourself luck if that is not what your list entails, that is not luck. you are heading toward what you didnt bargain for..I just wish people can be patient and wait.... Sad  Wait on your God, if he is what you believe in to be then he will come through for you..Moreover, He is the I AM that I AM( whatever you think of him to be).
Posted: at 19-12-2010 08:57 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- juleshotluv at 19-12-2010 08:58 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: FlyMamacita on 19-12-2010 07:36 AM
Jules, dat is som correct talk!

thank you Cheesy Cool
Posted: at 19-12-2010 08:58 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- juleshotluv at 19-12-2010 09:03 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: samboko on 19-12-2010 02:35 PM
Poster, i like your responses so far....there is no 10/10 in any relationship, be it just casual friend or marrying partner....for those who read bible, it is not written there that a man will marry a 10/10 wife...but says, any man who marries a woman has found a good thing from the Lord....

To the topic, that your friend needs help! Because, he already signifies that he has tried to let go several times only to find himself back in the lady A's arm....yet he can never marry lady A! It doesnt sound right to me....he even agrees that his wife, lady B has all he wants in a woman....this guy, to me, is not a cheater because he is not messing with other ladies but one particular one he cant marry....he is carrying a heavy load of problem....the easiest way to get out of his problem is to speak out to his wife! Im not expecting the wife to start quarreling or go beat lady A up....both of them need heart-to-heart talk and prayers....whenever the urge comes to him to go see the other woman, he must tell his wife, so the wife can do something.....to me the guy dont have good friends....they should have tried to stop him or help him out from seeing the other lady...now is your turn to help him, poster....


Lets not bring the bible into this BUT doesn't the same bible says, "Ask and it shall be given onto you, seek and you will find, knock and the door shall be opened onto you......" And also says that "the reason why we haven't gotten is because we haven't asked...?"

Some people only select the part of the bible that they want.........hmmmmmmmmmmmm..gosh!
Posted: at 19-12-2010 09:03 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- nellygold at 19-12-2010 11:16 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: juleshotluv on 19-12-2010 08:57 PM
Quote from: nellygold on 19-12-2010 09:59 AM
Quote from: juleshotluv on 19-12-2010 03:50 AM
Quote from: nellygold on 18-12-2010 12:16 PM
There's this friend of my, who got married 5years ago; during our chat, he told me, that he's still seeing the lady (Lady A) he went out with before getting married; I was astonish hearing that!, 'cos i know the wife, from my own perspective she (the wife/Lady B) got all it takes, both in terms of beauty and wife material stuffs:

I told him if you so love this other lady, you she have got married to her, instead of your present wife..., you courted both of them and decide to settle for Lady B (the wife); He responds was, over my dead body will i settle for Lady A, but at the same time, i find it difficult letting her go, 'cos i have tried severally to stop seeing her, at the end of the day, i still find myself in her arms; I quit agreed with you that my wife got all it takes, but all the same something is missing somewhere....., you wouldn't get it, he added:

The essence of courtship is to figure out things... before tying knot..., we all know that no one is perfect (i:e no ideal woman/man); but at the same time, i think, E:g if out of 10 characteristic we need..., we find say 7 in one particular person; why will one get stuck with a fellow that has 4, when he already tie the knot, with the one that has 7?. It suck!; Moreover, i found out, that he's not ready to quit Lady A, 'Cos when i asked him, how will you handle things, if your wife finds out? he said, how will she..? you are not gonna tell her, will you?

So my question is, WHY TYING THE KNOT, WITH THE FELLOW YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE/WANT?


Because they are desperate at this point and they are willing to settle down with whatever they can find. Even if they have a list of requirements about what they want in a woman, they still say Oh, its 4 out of 7..I guess she is manageable. But what people don't know is that, its not manageable if that is not what you have in mind. if that is not what your requirement entails then you shouldn't sell yourself short. Be patient and wait for your 7/7 because there is definitely someone out there who has all your requirements.

In tends of the man and his wife, He has to somehow confront his wife at some point. If he love and respect his wife then he needs to come clean with her, 99 days for the thief but 1 day for the owner, she will definitely find out even if its not from you poster. that is if she haven't find out by now and she is pretending. He might never know, maybe she wants him to say something. maybe she too is not enjoying the sex.

Sure! someday she might find out, 'cos she somehow suspest him already: Regarding the characteristics, what he got is a better option, she got 7/10 while the other got 4/10, from my perspective 10/10 doesn't exist, ideal partner is just a fantacy, cos nobody is perfect, in-other-words he should count himself lucky 4 having 7/10 


I disagree with you..10/10 does exist. If you know God and you trust in him and believe that with God all things are possible then a 10/10 is also possible.


Dont count yourself luck if that is not what your list entails, that is not luck. you are heading toward what you didnt bargain for..I just wish people can be patient and wait.... Sad  Wait on your God, if he is what you believe in to be then he will come through for you..Moreover, He is the I AM that I AM( whatever you think of him to be).


My dear am a Christian too, and i believe in the Bible, what Bible said was that; he that founded a wife finds a good thing, and obtain favor/mercy........., It never said, he that found 10 characteristic etc...., i still maintain my stand that 10/10 is a Fantasy, which doesn't exist; if it does exist, why are there so many centers for marriage Chancellor.....? even in the churches there are peoples who are set aside for advising/settling couples differences? or could it be cos those couples don't know God? of-course they do, Is for-seen in the Bible that there will be differences b/w couples/peoples, that was why the Bible equally said they should bring theirs case before the Elders of the Church; Sure Bible said, ask and it "SHALL" be given unto you, knock and the door will be open etc, am not against that Chapter and will never be, haven't you planned of getting something before, you prayed and fasted about it, and you didn't get it? Could that make God/Bible a lier? of-course NO.

Another example; A man will makeup his mind to settle (marry), but he may be undecided b/w two ladies, a times the issue is often i prefer lady A, but she's too fat though she has all it takes for being a wife material.., lady B got all the physical appearance i desire, but she too lazy/talkative/dirty to my likeness; at the end of the day, this guy will settle for one, does that mean he got all he want? the answer is NO, he just went for the better for him, which could be the 7/10; 8/10; or 6/10: illustration is vice-versa                           
Posted: at 19-12-2010 11:16 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- Michro at 19-12-2010 11:20 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Huh?

Posted: at 19-12-2010 11:20 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- nellygold at 19-12-2010 11:48 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: Michro on 19-12-2010 11:20 PM
Huh?


what  Cheesy
Posted: at 19-12-2010 11:48 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- kebella at 19-12-2010 11:50 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Posted: at 19-12-2010 11:50 PM (13 years ago) | Addicted Hero
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- juleshotluv at 20-12-2010 01:22 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Change your mindset then everything else would fall into place, remove the limitation. More so,  stop comparing yourself with others because you weren't created to be like another person. the fact that it happened to another person doesn't mean it has to happen to you too.
Posted: at 20-12-2010 01:22 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- zest4allife at 20-12-2010 02:22 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
this is simply a case of eating a cake and still wanting to have it in your hand. the bobo wants the best of both worlds but I bet his world would crumble soon if he doesn't retrace his steps.
Posted: at 20-12-2010 02:22 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- zest4allife at 20-12-2010 02:23 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
this act is common for many men, only some fail to admit to it. very depressing, ladies! Angry
Posted: at 20-12-2010 02:23 AM (13 years ago) | Newbie
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- nellygold at 20-12-2010 08:02 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: juleshotluv on 20-12-2010 01:22 AM
Change your mindset then everything else would fall into place, remove the limitation. More so,  stop comparing yourself with others because you weren't created to be like another person. the fact that it happened to another person doesn't mean it has to happen to you too.

No dear, you know when something is from 75% upward we generalize it  Cheesy, that doesn't mean that there's no 5% or so that opposes it; Pertaining Mindset; everybody wants the best, so do i too, but at the end of the day the nature will......., furthermore i ain't comparing myself with anyone, 'cos everybody have their destiny  Wink; wish everyone good luck though
Posted: at 20-12-2010 08:02 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- nellygold at 20-12-2010 08:04 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: zest4allife on 20-12-2010 02:22 AM
this is simply a case of eating a cake and still wanting to have it in your hand. the bobo wants the best of both worlds but I bet his world would crumble soon if he doesn't retrace his steps.

Mmmmmm  i just hope he get ride of that b4 it will be too late
Posted: at 20-12-2010 08:04 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- juleshotluv at 20-12-2010 10:08 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: nellygold on 20-12-2010 08:02 AM
Quote from: juleshotluv on 20-12-2010 01:22 AM
Change your mindset then everything else would fall into place, remove the limitation. More so,  stop comparing yourself with others because you weren't created to be like another person. the fact that it happened to another person doesn't mean it has to happen to you too.

No dear, you know when something is from 75% upward we generalize it  Cheesy, that doesn't mean that there's no 5% or so that opposes it; Pertaining Mindset; everybody wants the best, so do i too, but at the end of the day the nature will......., furthermore i ain't comparing myself with anyone, 'cos everybody have their destiny  Wink; wish everyone good luck though

Opinions my dear, everyone has theirs; whether or not we agree with one another is entirely a different case.
Posted: at 20-12-2010 10:08 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- samboko at 20-12-2010 02:00 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Juleshotluv, i dont know how strong you are spiritually but you are still talking like someone who knows nothing about bible, life and history but based your opinion on what you have been told. Not everything we asked and given to us we received, do you know that? In case you dont, Daniel was one of God's favorite, do u know what happened to his request that was approved the minute he asked for it? go figure.....
Have you ever wondered why do we pray more than the prayer Jesus thought his disciples? Our father's prayer?...thats that....Above all, whatever we ask, God giveth....when we dont get reply, does it make God Liar? Have you got all you asked from the good God lately?

In case, you are out there looking for 10/10, good luck....those who imbued you with that idea, have you asked them or seen in them that they have 10/10 partners?

You keep talking about opinion, that you have one dont make it automatically right, a dumb person has opinion too, you know? Those who dont consider opinion of others, especially, when they dont know much about the issue at hand are like dog that want to get lost, it will never listen to the whistle of his hunter....

if you think we cant bring bible into this, tell me one thing that is happening and will happen in the future that are not in the bible already? you see? Nothing! Thats why i said, you need to develop yourself spiritually, historically, and knowledgeably..... just an idea/opinion is not enough to win argument, you need experience, understanding and consideration.....let me ask you a question, do you even have a second thought of your own?
Posted: at 20-12-2010 02:00 PM (13 years ago) | Upcoming
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- nellygold at 21-12-2010 12:38 AM (13 years ago)
(f)
Quote from: samboko on 20-12-2010 02:00 PM
Juleshotluv, i dont know how strong you are spiritually but you are still talking like someone who knows nothing about bible, life and history but based your opinion on what you have been told. Not everything we asked and given to us we received, do you know that? In case you dont, Daniel was one of God's favorite, do u know what happened to his request that was approved the minute he asked for it? go figure.....
Have you ever wondered why do we pray more than the prayer Jesus thought his disciples? Our father's prayer?...thats that....Above all, whatever we ask, God giveth....when we dont get reply, does it make God Liar? Have you got all you asked from the good God lately?

In case, you are out there looking for 10/10, good luck....those who imbued you with that idea, have you asked them or seen in them that they have 10/10 partners?

You keep talking about opinion, that you have one dont make it automatically right, a dumb person has opinion too, you know? Those who dont consider opinion of others, especially, when they dont know much about the issue at hand are like dog that want to get lost, it will never listen to the whistle of his hunter....

if you think we cant bring bible into this, tell me one thing that is happening and will happen in the future that are not in the bible already? you see? Nothing! Thats why i said, you need to develop yourself spiritually, historically, and knowledgeably..... just an idea/opinion is not enough to win argument, you need experience, understanding and consideration.....let me ask you a question, do you even have a second thought of your own?

Thanks dear

@ juleshotluv: Opinions is like a hand-bags my dear juleshotluv
Posted: at 21-12-2010 12:38 AM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- Treasure2 at 21-12-2010 02:02 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
lol
Posted: at 21-12-2010 02:02 PM (13 years ago) | Hero
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- juleshotluv at 21-12-2010 02:03 PM (13 years ago)
(f)
 Grin
Posted: at 21-12-2010 02:03 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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- simele at 21-12-2010 02:50 PM (13 years ago)
(m)
Quote from: onyin on 18-12-2010 01:01 PM
Lady A is very good in bed.And he loves his wife very well.A man can cheat and still go back home to love his wife,becos for most of them cheating is nothing.Its more like having fun.but such men,only God can heal them.

true talk
Posted: at 21-12-2010 02:50 PM (13 years ago) | Gistmaniac
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