He is obviously seeing someone else

I have known this guy for five years. But he proposed to me last year when he traveled for his Masters degree abroad. Now, he has returned to Nigeria. But unlike the person I knew, he has been seeing another woman, who calls him daily. He even spends the night with her, but she hardly visits him. We have planned to get married later in the year because he just got a job. Recently, his siblings called me at midnight to ask for his whereabouts because they didn’t see him. When I asked him later about it, he told a lie that he went drinking with friends. Meanwhile, these were persons we woke up from their sleep with phone calls, while his phone was switched off. My joy is that he doesn‘t take her to his house unlike before, but he does not know that I have details. What do I do because I love this guy?

T.T, Lagos

That he does not take her home again does not mean he is not seriously involved with her. At least, you have said that he spends the night with her. What you need now is to embark on strategies to getting your guy back.

Let him into the fact that you know he is dating another woman but don’t quarrel with him. I think the best thing to do now is to know if he is actually serious about marrying you. Talk to him about this and you will know the next step to take.

A five-year-old relationship cannot be thrown away like that. Moreover, I think you should make yourself more available in his flat and make your presence felt-cook more of his meals, do things together and hang out more with him. This would enable you discover more about each other. Don’t date a man from a distance; you may never know him well before marriage.